My kids bicker a lot.
The small one does not know she's small, forever
bullying her brother. Even though the boy recognizes the fact that she's
younger, when he cannot bear the “bullying” and the almost eely way she slides out
of getting punished for her pranks, he lashes out. In form of knocks or
swats...at any convenient part of Zi's body!
My kids fight a lot.
Now, it’s easy to pass this behaviour off as childish exuberance but with what
is going on in the world these days, I chose to know better. Like Sisi Yemmie
said, “Na from clap these things dey take enter dance.”
For every time Chets hits Zi, whether justifiable or not, he gets punished.
When asked why he's punished, he would reply “Because I hit my sister.” And why is that wrong, I would ask. And he would
reply, “I am not supposed to hit any girl or lady or woman.”
He didn't get this logic initially. How does he get
wronged and get punished for being wronged? But he's beginning to get it now.
Especially when the Hubs asks, “Have you ever seen me beat/slap/hit your mom?” to
which he answers, “All you people do is Kiss! Yuck!”
My kids are 6 & 3
respectively.
With all these bickers and fights, you can NEVER doubt for one moment, the love
or bond between my duo. Never. Nobody says so much as an ugly word to Zi, especially
in school... Do they not know her elder brother is Chetanna A?!!! He is that protective
of her. And you cannot punish him unduly without Zi whining you to hell and
back...
That's what siblings are about. Love, Fight, Tolerance, Make up, Love!
So when I got this chat from this young friend of mine, my first question was
“How old are these siblings?” My second question was “Are they blood
siblings?”. Cos this is so weird. When I got the full story from this child
that couldn't stop crying long enough to make sense, I sat down and cried! Usually
soft-spoken and just a joy to listen to, her cries this morning ripped at me!
This is sooooo wrong! So wrong! How long has this been going on? And what
usually provokes him?
I don't
know what to do today. It’s my brother and me. I barely have the strength to
walk. This has been going on since I’ve known him. I’ve always been in boarding
house, then University so it happens on mostly holidays, when he's not in
school as well. Today, I barely said a word to him. I wish I knew what I did to
provoke him. Just yesterday, he smashed the DVD in my room because I removed
his movie (that refused to play) and put in mine. This beating is like an
everyday thing.
I've
always been pointing this behaviour out to my Mum. Always! All she keeps saying
is “He's your elder brother.” Until lately, some months back. I lent him my
laptop. He promised to bring it back in March. He brought it just last month
and everything was wrong with it. When I complained, he beat me. That's just
when my mom started seeing all that I'd been saying for years. Just last
month!!!!
I don't
know what my brother studied in school. How would I? How can I have a
relationship with this kind of person? I forget I have a brother; it’s that
bad. I have all sorts of scars on my body. Old scars from him. Normally he uses
belts, flower vases, shoes, all sorts to beat me. And then, he bites me as
well. All my mom keeps saying is “Two wrongs don't make a right!”
