Fathers' Day Fest

Work has been beyond mental these past few days.....straight from the pits! I thought this post woulda gone up five days ago on Monday but i apparently underestimated the power of a tired soul and a stressed body. Topic for another post if i ever get round to writing it. Apologies though, for this late-ass post!

Anyways, if your childhood was anything like mine, then its relatively safe to say that children tend to overly appreciate the mother, with good reason i dare say, while the father is relegated to the spare debit card that shells out dough with the tapping of the right buttons. According to this twitter handle @Kennagq and i quote ," Don't bother bother dragging affection of your kids with your wife. You are bound to lose. She already bribed them with nine months free housing!" So true! However, a father’s epileptic presence at home as compared to a mother’s should not and really does not diminish the father’s importance to his kids. And so on Sunday the 19^th , to remind them how much they mean to us, fathers the world over were celebrated on Fathers’ Day!

Who else finds it really difficult and frustrating to shop for gifts for the menfolk? I mean, with the women, its a breeze...we get wow’d by the littlest things. Shoes, designer bags, baffs, the latest in gadgets and we are good, well, until the next gift-deserving occasion. It takes me an entire year to figure out what to get the hubby for valentine’s day or his birthday or fathers’ day...plus i need that ridiculous length of time to save up for a “worthy” gift {the life of a church rat}.

So when my friend Meerandah suggested that a group of us, whose husbands pretty much hang together, treat the guys to a surprise Fathers’ Day hangout, we all jumped at the idea. It was just the thing for so many reasons, the least of them being that we get to see friends and plus-ones that we haven’t seen in ages {Gidi does that to friendship}. That idea saved me having to engage in last minute gift hunting for Chet’s father. The plan was adopted and put in motion. The major hitch, however, was how do we get a group of 7-8 guys together, guys that usually let themselves in on their hangout paroles and especially on Sundays, when they meet at some joint to “fellowship”…..How do we get them together without them being any wiser about the surprise we had in store for them?  We all decided to tell our various spouses that we were eating dinner out to celebrate the day and went ahead to paint a really cozy picture of dinner pour deux, with the wifey getting the tab…. Needless to say, individually, they couldn’t resist the offer…and we were good to go.

We had the laughs of our lives, us girls, when couples started strolling into Four Points by Sheraton. You could see that jerk/look of surprise, then confusion, then acceptance and finally pleasure on the guys’ faces. Where one thought he was just going to have dinner with the wife, there’s now a roomful of homies to share the fun with. And they didn’t havta cough out a dime for that!!!

 

Isoks and Erhi

It took me forever to upload this and its now bent again? Ok now. Anyways, we were supposed to colour-code our ensembles Thank God some people rebelled in the end...we woulda really looked like school girls {which is not so bad. Or is it?}



L-R Isoks, Bola, Meerandah, Erhi and Tana

Us girls



Babes checking our bill to make sure we didnt get screwed over. Not ready to wash plates in Four Points. Just kidding...

The couples:

It was their one-year wedding anniversary. Awww! He was really expecting that dinner for two. Congratulation guys, on your wedding anniversary! In other news, i like a guy in touch with his feminine side: that purse was well handled! Cute!

Tana and her boo, Nwora {featured them under Events, for their son's 1st birthday}

Isoks and her boo, Dre

Uzo flew solo...wifey wasn't in town

Meerandah and boo, Jerome

Erhi and boo, Bome

Me and my boyfriend 'Jaik

The best part of that evening was getting the bill! It was such a trip. We set the guys and of course we had mad fun doing it. Now we wait...yes, we wait for Mothers' Day{s} next year to collect on the dividends of this investment. LOL!

Shout out to everyone that read this blog and especially those that follow the blog and leave comments/messages. I see y'all. Thank you soo much. If you don't already follow, do so. You can also follow my twitter handle @Zitera. Have a great week ahead!

Running For Women Enpowerment

My fingers and my toes, oh and my mouth are about the only parts of my body that does not ache at the moment. Every other part of my body, even parts i didnt know muscles existed in, aches/hurts like i was pummelled by a gang of oompa-loompas in my sleep....

Yesterday, i walked/ran a 5km marathon for the first time ever in my life.

It started as a topic of conversation. My friend Ng chatted me up one evening:
Ng: Have you ran a marathon before?
Me: No. Why?
I was half expecting her to say someone ran a marathon and now fainted and now....You get my drift?
Ng: There's one on  the 18th of June. Would you like to go?
Me: Are we running or walking? Because if we are running, i'm not interested. I'm not about to jog/juggle away the last muscles holding my already-nurtured-two-babies-and-now-pointing-downwards boobies up for nobody or cause.
When she was done laughing, she said i could run or walk or do both...whatever i decide to do was fine.

I never pass up a challenge and at least, not one where i was going to burn loads of calories. So, come Saturday the 18th of June, we got dressed as early as 6:30 a.m, loaded ourselves into the car and drove to Banana Island for THE marathon!

The JoyRunner Walk/Run 5km for Women Enpowerment is mostly aimed at encouraging the woman to love her body rather than fight it by eating right and exercising adequately. This would be their second marathon this year. I gotta admit, loving one's body is not as easy as it sounds. In fact, for me, its outright tough....i hate the body i have now. Where i used to see a flatboard stomach, i now see tubs and tubs of fat and loose flesh. I cannot even stand the sight of my thighs...they are the size of baby elephants each. Lemme not even discuss my bum! Lemme not....seriously. Anyways, the run was to teach women to love their bodies which would invariably boost self confidence and thus enpower them to be the best they can be....i guess!

The marathon was sponsored by Coca Cola, Chicken Republic, Park 'n' Shop, Spar, Dove and a host of others. It was such fun. After the run/walk session, there was the dance session {the best part of that event as far as i was concerned} that lasted for the better part of an hour. After the dance, there were two more presentations/seminars: one on understanding body shapes and tailoring dietary needs according to specific body shapes {apparently, i'm pear shaped and if i worked hard in the gym and starve myself well enough, i'm going to totally own Beyonce's bod! Something to look forward to} and the other was on exercising!

Oh, and there were prizes too. In fact, yesterday was the first time i saw the last three persons in a race being rewarded. Seriously, why didnt someone imtimate me to that fact before i started running? Next time, imma stretch that run....last is the new first!

Ng, Kate Henshaw and myself

My crew: L-R Myself, Kachy, Ng and Ifeoma

I never quite thanked Ng for dragging me along. My body feels thoroughly exercised. We should totally do this again....next year! Hahaha...just kidding. Thank you @engeez!!

Today is Fathers' Day. Happy Fathers' Day to all the dads out there, especially those that are reading this post. I totally appreciate!

As 'Nimi Turns One...

Friends and family alongside their kids gathered to celebrate Toluwanimi's one year birthday. I promised her mother, who happens to be my very good friend and colleague, that i was gonna paparazzi for her to the best of my amateur abilities. I wish i could say i captured the event in its entirety...but i did score some pictures for your viewing pleasure. Click here to view...

It Starts Again!

Just when you think you've got things under control, that's when the red horned one decides to throw a monkey wrench in your wheel of progress! Sigh!

So there I was in the office, minding my screen as per the professional banker I’m being paid to pretend to be when my driver Ralph* flashed my mobile.
{My driver is a pro at flashing…its becoming really disturbing. I get that sometimes one can be cash-tight but mehn, you can never catch Ralph with a dime, not on his person…not on his phone. He is forever not-having…its irritating! My driver cannot give 50 Naira to save your life….but I digress!}

As I was saying, there I was minding my business when R flashed me. I’m always nervous when my house or the driver calls me. My first thought is usually, “Oh God, let nothing be wrong with the kids!” Pessimistic, I know but I get through life expecting the worst of everything! Anyways, I called Ralph and asked what the problem was. His reply:

“Madame, nothing o. I just wan tell you say I don come back office. I don already carry Dota {translated: Cheta} go house”

I said Ok, Thank You. I was just about to disconnect the call when I heard:

“Madame, kpe, the kain fight wey Martha* and the other one fight for house today eh. Ahhh! Kpe I thank God say I go back to go carry fuel gallon. Them carry hot water wan pour me…..”

“Where were Cheta and Zizi?” I cut him short. Once I heard the hot water thingie, my heart skipped all kinds of beats. His reply made things even worse:

“Madame, Zizi dey floor dey cry o. See my hand {he offers the hand for inspection. His hand looked like a rabid ekuuke dog bite him. I should get him a tetanus shot ASAP, I thought} where them bite me as I dey try separate them. Madame, aahh, I no no wetin for happen if I for no go back go carry that fuel gallon. Kpe na God make me sef go up o! They even carry spoon wan beat me join!”

I quickly called the house…the househelp picked the call. I asked after the kids and I was told both were ok and sleeping. And I heaved a sigh of relief…not totally tho, until a friend of mine I begged to help me check up on the kids confirmed same. It was now time to get angry. How dare they fight in my house, in front of the kids? I couldn’t wait to get to the house to find out what caused the fight. Infact, I was so impatient I left my car and the driver sitting in traffic and took an okada home.

Got home, called a meeting {yea, as the employer of labour that i am} and below is a little bit of how that went:

Me: Martha {househelp}, what happened in this house today?

Martha: Aunty, yesterday I retouched Mary’s*{nanny} hair and she said I did not do it well. I told her before we started that her relaxer was too small and she said I should manage it like that. When I finished, she said I was just being wicked because her hair did not relax well. She now said if its wickedness I want, she will show me wickedness. Today, when Cheta came back from school, I put water on the fire {that’s how water entered the equation} to bathe him and to make his eba. I was now warming the soup when she came and said that the soup was tooo much, then she now pulled my hair and we started fighting.

Mary: Aunty, the way this girl insults me in this house, I cannot take it anymore. Yesterday, I begged her to retouch my hair and I asked her to run her fingers through the hair so it can retouch well. She said she cannot, that the relaxer will burn her fingers. When I retouched her own hair with my hands, did the relaxer burn my hair? I’ve been bearing a lot from this girl *she started crying at this point* and I cannot take it any longer. She calls me stupid and there’s no message I send her she ever goes. She always saying how foolish I was to leave my children {happy has 3 children, the eldest 9 years old) in Enugu and come to Lagos for work…..infact, I want to leave!!

Leave ke? Where does that leave me? Good helps are darn hard to find!

I went back and forth and back again, oh dear....a lot of "She said..." "You are such a liar..." it was just tiring! To cut a really really long story short, it was yesterday I found out what has been really going on in my house. Nothing like where two supposed friends are fighting….secrets just spills, left, right and centre. My ears heard eh! From shacking up with boyfriends when I leave for work {allegations laid against Martha} to taking abortion pills { Martha said it was Panadol o} to excessive phones calls, to always watching African Magic with another neighbour’s help {still Martha} to leaving the house to…..its just too many to recount.

I do blame the nanny for seeing all these truant instances on Martha's part and keeping it from me. If I knew on time, Martha woulda been nipped in the bud, taaay! But what happened yesterday, I place on Martha’s shoulder squarely…..

• You do not insult or disrespect your elders regardless of their condition. The nanny has the body of a 16 year old so I see why Martha would think they are age mates.  
• You do not taunt another with their bad situation…that could be you in some years.

The nanny is a really quiet one and the fact that she is a mother so works for me. Her kids are all boys so Zi is like her adopted daughter…which also works for me. So, when I started hearing “I want to leave” from her, I became really really uncomfortable! People, can u see how this local girl wants to pour san-sand into my imported-from-Enugu garri?

Ralph, Martha, Mary....not their real names, of course.

The Good Times Are Killing You Now??

I will be the first to admit this: I used to be royally ticked off when I hear stories of ladies who trap men into marriages with PREGNANCIES. I always thought it an act borne of desperation; not the “Gulp! I can’t support this life growing inside me all by myself!” kind. No! I always thought it an act borne out of “Whether you like it or not, whether you love me or not, I must marry you…my ‘love’ will have to be enough for both of us. You are my last chance of ever experiencing the institution called Marriage” kinda desperation and the “My biological clock is ticking away to menopause…I’m long overdue for marriage” type. There are even those that entrap with nothing other that guguru and ekpa growing in their tummies, masquerading as victimized women! SOOOO annoying!!
And the truth is that there are still women out there who insist on twirling good guys in their evil webs. If a woman insists that a man marries her because he got her pregnant, there can only be two possible outcomes to that equation:

• The man decides to invest in loving his new wife and they all live happily ever after OR
• The man looks for love and HIS idea of an ideal woman outside his matrimonial home. Nobody needs further education on the implications of this second outcome. The chic had better be prepared to do battle!

My “neighbour” was approaching age 33 when I met her in 2006. Correction, I didn’t actually meet her; she barged into my house and my life. The hubby and a friend of his were hanging on the front porch of the house and since guys will always be guys, the friend beckoned on the chic….and fiam, she was in my life. For 33, she looked awesome…amazeball gene. However, there was always that aura of desperation around her. She would beg for introduction to some of the hubby’s friends; she was ever in my house to follow up on her requests. When the introductions eventually happened, she totally embarrassed herself, the guys and of course, yours truly with her behavior that just screamed “Please, marry me NOW!!!”  Of course, the guys were put off and suddenly, her use for me ceased. I failed to deliver! She left my life the same way she came in…..uninvited and unceremoniously!!
Two moons later, she was married to an already married man with family in another part of town.
Seven moons later, she’s delivered her first child.
Two years later, she was a mother of two girls.
Last week, she stopped me on my way from the salon, going on about how that stupid man does not care about her welfare! What do you say to this person? “You deserve everything you’ve got?”
So Yes, I agree some girls are just plain diabolical. But lemme now get to what prompted this post...

A friend sent this scenario to a group chat: A young vibrant chap working in one of the biggest food and beverages companies dated this girl for like seven years though no serious commitments were made by both parties from the onset. *Allow me to butt in here but...who makes serious commitment from the onset on their relationships?* Just last year precisely around December, the young man was promoted to a Deputy Manager with an awesome package to go with new status. With all these goodies, the girl and her aunt swung into action...devised a means to entrap the guy. Long story short, the girl deliberately got pregnant and now, the guy feels betrayed by her actions to ensnare him. He is seeking for abortion because he is not ready to father a child!

Bullocks!!! Hogshit! Bullcrap! First of all, why do some guys think women want them because of their money? Like seriously, can’t a girl love a man for who he is and most importantly, who he would be? So, this girl saw a guy that obviously didn’t have much to offer in terms of cash and decided she wanna date him. Seven years is not seven days....it’s not even seven months. I’m sure somewhere along those seven years, this chic had been a pillar of support, not just emotionally but financially to our dear “chop-n-clean-mouth” friend! I’m also sure this would not be the first abortion the girl had had to undergo in the course of that relationship. So dude, your pepper finally rested and suddenly, your girlfriend of many years turns into a vampire, itching to suck the lifeblood out of your finances. Newsflash: She did not get pregnant all by her loneself...you sorta contributed to that condition....ecstatically! Two: She should get an abortion because you are not ready to father a child? Your child? Really? What if something goes wrong during the procedure...or it didn’t occur to you she could die or that her womb might be damaged forever? What if that foetus is her only chance of being a mother, or your only chance at being a father for that matter? What then? Have you even thought of the psychological damage an abortion does to a girl? Yea, i thought not. Its just so easy to throw money her way and instruct she gets an abortion! Three: Giving and receiving really makes a relationship stronger. Guy, you have given and given and given the very essence of you to her for all of seven years, it’s only deserving you receive this once! This is not the time to bring Betrayal into the equation. This is the time to invite Responsibility into your life. If you were so ready to squirt, you should be equally ready to bear the consequences. Man up to your responsibilities....at least, you’ve got the resources to do so! And God will continue to enlarge your coast...Amen! You are even lucky it’s the aunt thats involved in this matter. Her father woulda broken out the shot-gun taaaaaay!

When we were growing up, my mother always said, “Find a man with potential; Marry him!” I used to wonder what planet she was from. How would we possibly know a man that has got potential....it’s hardly written on their fore-heads. But lo, you know a man/woman with potential to be a success when you see ‘em. So hey, if she hung with you and supported you when you were wretched, it’s only fair she should enjoy the fruits of her labour.

So yea, i do not jump to judging women that seemingly trap men into marriages. Folks should learn to live with the consequences of their actions! Ah well, this is just my opinion. This ish is real life so your feedback will be most appreciated. Comment it!!! Meanwhile, i wish to say a big thank you to my new followers. Shally and Yellow-Sisi, i see y’all. Much love!!! If you aint already following, please do so. Mucha gracias....x