Between Dreams and Dust

The idea of squatting her wasn’t as abhorrent as I feared in retrospect. Heck, I suggested it but then, my mouth has been known to run ahead of my head on occasion. The brain needed more than a few moments to process the suggestion the mouth just spewed and it came up with a few arguments in its favour...

While I am borderline OCD and kinda guard my space jealously, I’ve known her for a year and she’s as cool as they come. Nearly as OCDious as I am {if not more sef}, she was one of the coo’ kids and frankly, my social status did not grudge the rub-off. However, what sealed this arrangement {and made it as attractive as I could convince my brain} was the thought of my easy access to a steady supply of premium soaks, also known as Ijebu garri. Jolo’s stock was legend!

When she first complained about her eyesight that was suddenly going south bad, we just thought it must be the soaks and suggested that she cut back on garri drinking. But then, the sudden poor eyesight became black outs, and with them came truly blinding headaches. Again, we had an explanation for this: it was time she embraced her family’s spectacle-wearing destiny. Genes can only wait for so long...

What “it” actually was knocked us for six and with the diagnosis came a rapid downward spiral that is the very essence of nightmares. Truly unbelievable. Brain tumor. In a matter of weeks, her eyesight was gone. Her health was deteriorating so fast there was urgent need to get her medical treatment outside the country. I had just left the VC’s office to makes copies of the documents her family needed for the travel when I got the call. It was her brother. We both spoke at once...

In a Space of Panic


She’s been firing all kinds of questions at me, a mile a minute, most of which i had no answer to cos i could barely hear them. From my mutters and hmmmms and meaningless hand movements, she must’ve guessed i was tired! Exhausted would be the word. I had had the most hectic day ever!

“You tired, Mummy?”
“Yes, baby...”
“I go outside and play with my brother?”
“Yes, baby!” Relief!
I must’ve been reaaaallly tired cos I never let them play outside. But within minutes, i heard her happy voice cackle in excitement and i relaxed. She’s happy; I’ve been blissfully left alone...all is well in my world. I drifted off to sleep!

It would be a few minutes before it registered that i wasn’t hearing her laughs anymore. Maybe they came back inside, i thought. I made to settle back into that restful sleep but something niggled. And so i stood and peeped outside. No daughter. Just the brother playing with a couple more friends and the househelp standing a distance back, fiddling with her phone.

“Where’s Zi?”, I called out.
The help started. “She’s h... she was...”
...gone. Zi was nowhere!
At first, i wasn’t panicked. Ok, maybe just a little. She’s the really outgoing child, friendly to a fault. Cute trait sometimes, but not and now. What if she had willingly followed a kidnapper out? Hush, i chided myself. Can’t be bringing negative energy this early in the game. However, as the evening gave way to night, the whole neighbourhood searched with a fine comb and no Zi, i hit rock bottom!

"...Hey God, You're Up!"

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When Siblings Abuse Siblings


My kids bicker a lot.
The small one does not know she's small, forever bullying her brother. Even though the boy recognizes the fact that she's younger, when he cannot bear the “bullying” and the almost eely way she slides out of getting punished for her pranks, he lashes out. In form of knocks or any convenient part of Zi's body!

My kids fight a lot.
Now, it’s easy to pass this behaviour off as childish exuberance but with what is going on in the world these days, I chose to know better. Like Sisi Yemmie said, “Na from clap these things dey take enter dance.
For every time Chets hits Zi, whether justifiable or not, he gets punished. When asked why he's punished, he would reply “Because I hit my sister.” And why is that wrong, I would ask. And he would reply, “I am not supposed to hit any girl or lady or woman.”
He didn't get this logic initially. How does he get wronged and get punished for being wronged? But he's beginning to get it now. Especially when the Hubs asks, “Have you ever seen me beat/slap/hit your mom?” to which he answers, “All you people do is Kiss! Yuck!”

My kids are 6 & 3 respectively.
With all these bickers and fights, you can NEVER doubt for one moment, the love or bond between my duo. Never. Nobody says so much as an ugly word to Zi, especially in school... Do they not know her elder brother is Chetanna A?!!! He is that protective of her. And you cannot punish him unduly without Zi whining you to hell and back...
That's what siblings are about. Love, Fight, Tolerance, Make up, Love!

So when I got this chat from this young friend of mine, my first question was “How old are these siblings?” My second question was “Are they blood siblings?”. Cos this is so weird. When I got the full story from this child that couldn't stop crying long enough to make sense, I sat down and cried! Usually soft-spoken and just a joy to listen to, her cries this morning ripped at me!

This is sooooo wrong! So wrong! How long has this been going on? And what usually provokes him?

I don't know what to do today. It’s my brother and me. I barely have the strength to walk. This has been going on since I’ve known him. I’ve always been in boarding house, then University so it happens on mostly holidays, when he's not in school as well. Today, I barely said a word to him. I wish I knew what I did to provoke him. Just yesterday, he smashed the DVD in my room because I removed his movie (that refused to play) and put in mine. This beating is like an everyday thing.

I've always been pointing this behaviour out to my Mum. Always! All she keeps saying is “He's your elder brother.” Until lately, some months back. I lent him my laptop. He promised to bring it back in March. He brought it just last month and everything was wrong with it. When I complained, he beat me. That's just when my mom started seeing all that I'd been saying for years. Just last month!!!!

I don't know what my brother studied in school. How would I? How can I have a relationship with this kind of person? I forget I have a brother; it’s that bad. I have all sorts of scars on my body. Old scars from him. Normally he uses belts, flower vases, shoes, all sorts to beat me. And then, he bites me as well. All my mom keeps saying is “Two wrongs don't make a right!”

Scarred: Enough or Too Much?

Every morning for as long as I can remember, prepping Chets for school never fails to live up to herculean reputation! He’s such a diva its unbelievably annoying! And he tests out his diva-ness on the helps. Always! To the very last of their patience.

“No, don't touch my head like that!”
“Mummy, Ifunnaya is bending my head backwards!”
“Ifunnaya, leave alone I want to bathe myself!”
“Why did you push me? Now my leg is bleeding. Mummy, Ifunnaya has cut my legs o!”
“Oooooooh, this water is now cold!”
“Mummy, I have not finished my home work oo!”
“Ifunnaya, leave me alooooooooooone! I can dress myself!”

{This was their exact same reaction when i showed them the picture of a burning body. Would teach them to stop playing with fuel and generator. But i digress...}
Photo Credit: Google
It goes on and on. I always listen in with one ear as I get ready for work and sometimes when I can’t deal with silliness anymore, I go meet him at the bath with Mr Cane in tow.
Since I always drop them off at school on my way to work, some days, I always threaten to leave him at home and take only Zi to school. But not going to school is not a get-out-of-jail free card. I make sure to promise that if school was not attended for a day because of tardiness, cane must touch body. 10 times.

The thing with kids is this: if you threaten/promise to do something to/for them long enough and you renege on all occasions, your word won’t count for shit where they are concerned. I had made this particular threat for so long but for each time I threaten, his father pleads on his behalf and hustles him off to the car.

Today started as usual.
Today, I made my “promise” as usual.
Today, he thought it was business as usual.
Today is #Day5 of my #JuiceFast.
Today, I didn't sleep a wink because his sister was crying from earache all night.
Today, the combination of hunger and lack of sleep was doing me in.
Today, his father left the house at the crack of dawn.
Today, I got into my car and left him...with Zi wailing, “Mummy, please don't leave my bwother!”

Journey To Sexy: Day 2

Day 2 of 7...

Still standing...barely.
I kinda woke up feeling weak hollow, not unlike how i felt when Chets vacated my womb. I guess the one-hour Zumba dance session of last night didn’t go down well with the body. But the weakness IS inconsequential, considering that i heard God speak to me in a dream, in my dream! Yep! I had a dream, in my dream! Two sets of dreams running concurrently. Confused? I was too. Like, the voice was clear. The word was clearer. I even saw a figure...67.1kg. Guys, i’m not even joking! Why would i come up with a queer figure like that? But seeing as my ideal weight should be 68kg, I BELIEVE. Call it hallucinations, blame it on hunger...I. STILL. BELIEVE! Woke up and said a big AMEN! If God be for you, e don be for your detractors! Brume, this sub is for you!

Anyways, i thought today was gonna end in a cry-fest. I usually cry myself to sleep on Day 2. This one didn’t. Got a bit woozy at about 3pm but the mind is a powerful weapon!

Breakfast - Ugu Juice
Lunch – Grape Juice
Dinner – Carrot + Tomato Juice
In-Between Meal Snack – I nearly drowned myself with 3L of water!

Because i was too lazy to ask Google how to go about juicing vegetables, especially our local veggies, i went ahead and asked my Philips Juicer Instruction manual.

How I Juiced my Ugu...
I cut the vegetable into tiny chunks and placed inside a smoothie blender...
Next, i squeezed in some lime/lemon juice into the blender. The more the merrier really...
I then added ginger to spice up the drink; threw in ice cubes for good measure...
I blended the mix to some extent, poured the entire mix into the juicer and taa-daaaaaa...
Ugu juice is ready!

I'm sure there are so many other EASIER ways to do this juuicing thingie. Y'all help a sister if you know any of those.
I barely have the strength to type out my next thought. Heck, i can’t even remember what i want to type. I just gonna say Toodles now and hope this post makes a smidgen of sense.
Sha Follow on Twitter @Zitera


Journey To Sexy: Day 1


It seems like i’ve been on this since forever. Sometimes, i’m committed to it. Some other times, i can’t be bothered. I would start a 3-day detox program and half-way through it, i’ll jump ship. No energy but mostly no incentive. The last time i was this committed to losing weight, i lost 9kg. October, 2012. There was no incentive, except i could feel my obesity weighing me down.

It has to be said. Really, it has to be said. Food is a SWEET deal! But as sweet as it is, it cannot top money in my books. And there-in lie the incentive for this current weight loss stint. The hubby thinks i cannot lose another 10kg in 3 months. I think i can lick it 2 months. The rules are simple:

·         If after the final weigh-in i’m 0.1kg shy of 10kg, he collects my cheque.

·         If however i max 10kg or above, he credits me double the amount.

Inspired much!
I’m already spending that money in advance...that’s how confident i am. I love a good dare!

Day 1- Started on a 7-Day Juice

Breakfast – Watermelon Juice.
Lunch – Watermelon + Mango Juice
Dinner – Ugu Juice with a dash of ginger and lemon.
I honestly thought i would hate that ugu juice thingie. Wonders, i loved it. Like totally. I’ve had to tell my stomach there’s no point growling & complaining... Food will not be had until day 8. It seems not to mind so much though. I wasn’t as dizzy as i thought i’ll be. Energy didn’t wane much. Like, i had enough to fit in an hour of Zumba dancing, with my smiles still intact. I doubt i’ll be smiling much tomorrow.

Aside the 12 trips to the restroom to return the 4+ litres of liquid i drank all day, and the really mean duo of SB and Olaedo who sent me pictures of their respective lunch just about the time my hunger was peaking, i’ll say Day 1 went just fine!

The universe didn’t deem it fit to take away a miserly 0.3kg and make it a nice cohesive figure like 79.9kg, which sounds and feels way better than 80.2kg. Yea, 80.2kg is our start-off. I just want my jigida to sit properly on the tummy. Is that too much to ask?

Follow on Twitter @Zitera