Showing posts with label Cheating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cheating. Show all posts
CM: Cheating- A Woman's Perspective II
Labels:
Cheating,
Relationship
·
So, you got married and with each day, your partner's romantic tendencies seemingly disappears. Reason enough to cheat?
“I love my husband, but he’s a workaholic!”…….its tough, sista but I honestly believe its not reason enough to cheat. Keep busy….it makes his absence less noticeable; more bearable. Its ironic though, isn’t it? Seeing as cheating is actually one way of keeping busy, yes?! On a serious note, however, be productive….keep busy.
“He’s cheated on me so many times; its payback time!”…….i sympathize with every woman that has been cheated on by her spouse or partner. No woman should have to go through the roller-coaster emotions associated with being cheated on. Not only does the act shatter the trust that IS the bedrock of that union, it erodes her self-confidence…eats away at her self-worth. It begs the question, “What did she have that I didn’t?” Its so easy to fall into the arms of the next man that ‘appreciates’ her…..so easy and ‘justifiable’ cos he has been cheating. However, hard as this may sound, forgive! In order for a relationship to
function properly, to survive, you must learn to forgive and realize that people will make mistakes.
The other day on the radio, a woman married with three children called in to Dan Foster's show on InspirationFM. Her request: That a call be placed through to her unmarried lover of eleven months who just called the realtionship quits. She wants them to still be friends! Married with three children, the husband very much alive? The relationship went as far as eloping plans sef. I wonder what she was planning to do with her kids! SMH
At this point, I would like to say that I do not claim to be an authority on why women cheat or why anyone cheats for that matter. There are so many circumstances {some pardonable if I may use that word; some not} that could work against a woman being faithful to her partner.
I threw this question out to some colleagues of mine and the varying responses I got ranged from lack of attention, to boredom, to abuse both physically and emotionally, to love of money, to hunger for more sex! Whatever the reason, I would like to reiterate that no man….or woman is without flaw. The 80:20 rule for a relationship has it that 80% of what 'we' want/need/desire in a man, 'we' already have in a husband/partner; the other 20% 'we' find in the guy outside….extra-curricular as far as i'm concerned. The important question is: Would you rather mess around with the flighty 20% and risk losing out on the rock-solid 80%?
Marriage IS a bed of roses, thorns and all! It is inevitable that couples would face challenges that could possibly wreck the union. However, always remember that you love(d) this man; always remember that change is the only constant in life and finally, always remember that work will win when & where wish won't!
You are stronger than you think you are!!
CM: Cheating-A Woman's Perpective I
Labels:
Cheating,
Relationship
·
Sensitive subject, cheating. Sensitive and deep.
Not too long ago, I was 17 and in the university. Life was great. My major worries those days were mostly money and time to study and those were not even major, if u get my drift. I loved to make friends. Partying was my fav pastime cos it afforded me the opportunity of making new friends, 80% of them boys. Oh yes, the boys! I loved the meetings, I loved the attention, I loved the butterflies-in-tummy moments, I loved the flirting….but most of all, i loved the thrill of the chase. I could never commit. I was so sure I would be a cheating partner in whatever relationship I eventually “settle” for. Then, I met him….
….and my theory of One Man Wouldn't Do died a natural death.
Lots of women can identify with this. You meet your soul mate; the one person that understands you to the core; the one person your whole world revolves round; the one that makes your heart skip a beat whenever you hear his voice; let’s admit it, the one person that holds the key to happiness as you know it. Suddenly, life aint worth living without him and y’all decide you wannna spend the rest of your lives together.
Now, you are married. First coupla years, the fun is unbelievable. You wonder how you got so lucky… you married the perfect man. He never forgets your birthday or your parents’, for that matter; he calls you up at odds hours just to say how much he loves you and misses you (forget that you just kissed him goodbye some minutes back); plies you with endless gifts and chocies at any and every opportunity; leaves little love notes at every nook and cranny of the house. Heck, every night IS a date night and the SEX……oh, the sex IS mind-boggling. You are so in love.
Then, come the children and with them, a whole lotta responsibilities.
He becomes a driven man. The sex is still mind-boggling but sometimes it lacks the romance and finesse that made you feel really special in his arms. Birthdays get forgotten every once in a while; the love notes disappear entirely; the phone calls....hmmm, the phone calls still come but just so he can find out whats for dinner or to say he’ll be late coming home! Cant say I blame him…cost of living is way too high especially with present day economic standstill and HE HAS TO PROVIDE FOR HIS FAMILY!
Overnight, you become mother (with the extra inches on the waistline as testimonial), slave, housekeeper, slave, maid, slave, career woman, slave, lesson teacher (someone have to take the kids through their homework for pete’s sake), slave, cook, slave….very well over-utilized and under-appreciated! End of the day, you cant wait to crawl into bed and sleeeeeeeeeep! No time to fix up yourself…...mani-pedis get done in your dreams and even then, you never get to finish cos the little one is yelling you awake. Phew!
With the passage of time, the romance dwindles to almost non-existent. You would wish for the intimacy of the yester-years. And this, darlings, is the CRUX of the matter! Expected as it is, what would cause a woman to step out on her marriage.... step out on her man??!
......To Be Continued
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