Showing posts with label Sibling Abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sibling Abuse. Show all posts

When Siblings Abuse Siblings

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My kids bicker a lot.
The small one does not know she's small, forever bullying her brother. Even though the boy recognizes the fact that she's younger, when he cannot bear the “bullying” and the almost eely way she slides out of getting punished for her pranks, he lashes out. In form of knocks or swats...at any convenient part of Zi's body!

My kids fight a lot.
Now, it’s easy to pass this behaviour off as childish exuberance but with what is going on in the world these days, I chose to know better. Like Sisi Yemmie said, “Na from clap these things dey take enter dance.”
For every time Chets hits Zi, whether justifiable or not, he gets punished. When asked why he's punished, he would reply “Because I hit my sister.” And why is that wrong, I would ask. And he would reply, “I am not supposed to hit any girl or lady or woman.”
He didn't get this logic initially. How does he get wronged and get punished for being wronged? But he's beginning to get it now. Especially when the Hubs asks, “Have you ever seen me beat/slap/hit your mom?” to which he answers, “All you people do is Kiss! Yuck!”

My kids are 6 & 3 respectively.
With all these bickers and fights, you can NEVER doubt for one moment, the love or bond between my duo. Never. Nobody says so much as an ugly word to Zi, especially in school... Do they not know her elder brother is Chetanna A?!!! He is that protective of her. And you cannot punish him unduly without Zi whining you to hell and back...
That's what siblings are about. Love, Fight, Tolerance, Make up, Love!

So when I got this chat from this young friend of mine, my first question was “How old are these siblings?” My second question was “Are they blood siblings?”. Cos this is so weird. When I got the full story from this child that couldn't stop crying long enough to make sense, I sat down and cried! Usually soft-spoken and just a joy to listen to, her cries this morning ripped at me!


This is sooooo wrong! So wrong! How long has this been going on? And what usually provokes him?

I don't know what to do today. It’s my brother and me. I barely have the strength to walk. This has been going on since I’ve known him. I’ve always been in boarding house, then University so it happens on mostly holidays, when he's not in school as well. Today, I barely said a word to him. I wish I knew what I did to provoke him. Just yesterday, he smashed the DVD in my room because I removed his movie (that refused to play) and put in mine. This beating is like an everyday thing.

I've always been pointing this behaviour out to my Mum. Always! All she keeps saying is “He's your elder brother.” Until lately, some months back. I lent him my laptop. He promised to bring it back in March. He brought it just last month and everything was wrong with it. When I complained, he beat me. That's just when my mom started seeing all that I'd been saying for years. Just last month!!!!

I don't know what my brother studied in school. How would I? How can I have a relationship with this kind of person? I forget I have a brother; it’s that bad. I have all sorts of scars on my body. Old scars from him. Normally he uses belts, flower vases, shoes, all sorts to beat me. And then, he bites me as well. All my mom keeps saying is “Two wrongs don't make a right!”
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