Won Him In A Drunken Bet!
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Anniversary Chronicles
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Today is my marriage anniversary! 17th of February is my wedding anniversary. Confused? Read up on Bonne Anniversaire for clarification. So my girl Bid thinks i’m eating my cake and having it and threatened that if i didn’t justify the gifts i get today by working “hard” tonight, i was gonna be sorry. This post is about the only thing that would appease her plus it really would be fun walking down memory lane J
So, did you click on this post link as soon as you saw the title hoping to get the scoop on how a grown man was won in a bet? Hehehe! Aproks is such a sweet pasttime. Now i know why and how gossip rags and tabloids sell so much with their ridiculous headlines meant solely to deceive folks into patronizing them...
Not that I'm deceiving anyone here today! I did win my hubby in a drunken bet. Maybe not the Hollywood kinda betting scenario where someone put him up as leverage and I win him! Nah, nothing so dramatic! All I can say is that there was a bet, and there were alcohol and there was him and then, the start of that journey!
I was in my 2nd year, School of Pharmacy University of Nigeria, Nsukka! Can i get some Lions and Lionesses to roar??? Oohkay...back to the gist! For some reason then, our school calendar differed from that of the rest of the university, except for prolly the medical students, which didn’t matter much because they were in another campus. Anyways, the difference in school calendar meant that we usually wrote exams when the rest of the school‘s on holiday, possibly to minimise distractions...i can only guess. If you were staying in school accommodations, that period sees you getting new Rx roomies....we were all usually holed up in one or two designated hostels for security reasons!
Activity pattern was pretty much a straight line: from hostel room to the classroom for lectures, then to library to study, then back to the classroom for revisions and finally back to the hostel room to sleep the rest of the day away against the night’s marathon reading a.k.a TDB (Till Day Break)! No parties, no hanging outs, no behind-Ziks’ flat fries runs, no drunken truth or dare sessions, no boys!!! Very linear life....extremely boring!! I wonder how we even fed those days. Oh, i remember...die-hard Mama Leke's joint! Without that woman and those urchins that usually assisted her, we woulda been subjected to lemming on okpa or noodles of the boiling ring variety or bread and Coca Cola for survival! UNN was a community in itself...stepping out to town to search for food was seriously looooong thing!
Anyways, there i was trying to sleep against TDB on that fateful day! Well, i wasn’t “trying” to sleep. I was well asleep but my new roomie and her male visitor chatting up a storm roused me from my slumber. Topic of dispute: Alcohol and their tolerance or is it intolerance for it! Seriously, couldn’t they have had that discussion without raising such hell? Somehow though, i got drawn into the discussion. My roommate has got such a vivacious personality you can’t help but roll with the punches! So, i got embroiled in the discussion and before i knew it, i was boasting of downing three small bottles of Guinness Stout and still stand on my feet {{there’s something wrong with that last sentence but i can’t place it for the life of me}}. As at the time of this declaration, i had never tasted alcohol, except for those sips my daddy allowed me off his beer glass when i was much younger. I figured if it didn’t trip me then, it wasn’t gonna start now!
Like joke like joke, bets were placed and off we went to Ekpo Ref, Njk, Male Visitor and Yours Truly! Was it Ekpo Ref? I forget but the joint was a hub of activity, 24/7. The bet was that if after two bottles of the stout brew i was still standing, i get a certain amount of money. The amount is a bit fuzzy now...this happened nearly eleven years ago! What i do remember was the excitement i felt!!! Kai, a welcome fun change from the dreary routine of exam period!
I learned so much about myself that day. The one glaring lesson, though, was that i do not have a head for alcohol! At all!!! Till date sef! ‘Twas a lesson i learned the bitter way, pun so not intended! I thoroughly disgraced myself. Half way through the first bottle, i was spewing gibberish. My brain thought one thing, my mouth churned out another! I remember Male Visitor asked what 7+7 was. My brain though 14; i answered 49, then 77, then 47! Wow! That wasn’t all! Hand-eye coordination deterioriated to non-existent! Who woulda thunk it possible? Certainly not me! I was so sure i would hold my own, liquor wise! Boy, was i wrong! My eyes wouldn’t stop rolling in their sockets! People, i was half-dragged to my room!
And that was the state i was in when i met the hubby. Male Visitor was his bestie and after he heard the gist, he came to see the pint-sized drunken albeit cute Pharmacy chic for himself. Yes, he thought i was cute. Still thinks i’m cute. Which is sooo cute! The rest....is history!!!
So i lost the bet but i gained me a friend and an amazing man! Totally #winning!
Bid, there you have it! Satisfied?! You best be withdrawing that threat right about now!!!
Comfort Meets Style
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Beddings 'n' Beyond
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I am anal about my space. Ttranslated to, i am anal about my bedroom, especially my bed. After the toils and hustles and drama of the day, my bedroom is the one place i can't wait to get to, to ease off the stress, to stretch and relax and re-group against the next day's toil. I love a neat room. I particularly love a well-laid bed!
The bed is the focal point of a bedroom and whats a bed without a bedsheet?
Have you ever laid on a bedsheet and you have to wake up every five minutes to swat away imaginery ants?
Have you ever laid on a bed and the sheet feels like someone dusted their beach slippers on your bed?
Have you ever laid on a bed and you just feel pins and needles all through the night?
If you are lucky, you'll wake up feeling soooo unrested. If you are unlucky, you'll have a nightmare and still wake up feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
I love bedsheets...they just transform a bedroom from a space with four walls to a cozy haven!
So, i intoduce to y'all my passion and my business, Beddings'n'Beyond, dedicated to transforming your room to a santuary with swag. The bedsheets are tailored to your specifications: flatsheets, fitted sheets, duvets, duvet covers; whatever you want. The sheets are top quality, washes well with no colour fade. I could go on and on, extolling their "virtues" but i wont...i trial will convince you.
To place your orders, you can contact me on:
email: beddingsnbeyond@gmail.com
phone: +234 803 564 3392
web: diva-sheets.blogspot.com
Prices are from N5000
My vision for this business amazes me but it would amount to nothing without your support. Buy one and tell your friends and family! God continue to bless y'all...x
Think Comfort; Think Style; Think Beddings'n'Beyond
WOWZER!
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I often wondered why some guys feel compelled to re-discover the “west”. Why aren’t they usually satisfied with the goldmines they got going for themselves? You feel i’m banging my head on a rock, what until your read this BBM chat between these two friends *evil chuckle*. I must say, i honing this habit of being in the right place at the right time, gist-wise, to perfection. Read...
Bryan: You promised me one {“one” in this case is a chic}
Jewel: LOL
Bryan: Please help a brother na
Jewel: Is it now a commodity? You and the one in Port-Harcourt broke up?
Bryan: Not really. But i need another person?
Jewel: Really? Do you want to marry two women?
Bryan: Nooo. I just need to compare and contrast. Please give me a number
Jewel: Why do you need to compare and contrast? Since you said you like the chic in Port-Harcourt, go and do something. She will soon leave you oo.
Bryan: I’m waiting!
Jewel: Your problem is choice. Lets say i wanna humour you, what tribe do you want the girl to be from?
Bryan: Anywhere o. If the chic is okay, i don’t particularly mind the tribe she’s from. Please, look for a sharp lady for me.
Bryan has been dating his girl for a bit now and they are already talking marriage. Jewel is Bryan’s second cousin. Bryan did not delete this chat...his babe read it!!!! And she’s not speaking to him as i blog.
This, floored me! What can he do or say to make this better??? What?
What Entered Nte's Trap...
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If Blogsville was Twitter, Domestic Violence woulda been a TT Trending Topic. Inspired by the story of the gruesome murder of Titi, a mother-of-one by her 30 year old husband a few weeks back, many bloggers, and society for that matter, have publicly expressed their distaste for domestic abuse. Who could blame them? No woman should be emotionally or verbally or worse yet, physically abused by a man who claims to love her, a man to whom she was cleaved to by a priest, in the presence of God.
In this day and age where women are a lot less mousy, a little more outspoken and mostly financially independent, one wonders: Does domestic violence still happen? To that stupid question, i answer, Heck YES. In fact, a woman is being slapped around by her partner somewhere in the world, this very minute. The big question is: Why Does She choose to stay In an Abusive Relationship/Marriage?
Financial dependence: As long as she cannot conveniently afford life as she’s already used to in her marital home, nothing is gonna make her leave. Women are materialistic beings...I say this confidently. Many a woman will rather chop slaps and beatings from the man that would pay her bills than be left to her devices, finance-wise.
Peer pressure: The day we stop comparing ourselves to others will be the day of our liberation. Do this little exercise with me: Look at those five fingers on your left hand. Do you see any two fingers of equal length? You do? Surely, YOU MUST BE AN ALIEN...and i ask that you kindly vamoose from my blog. Just kidding. Seriously though, no two fingers are equal, regardless of the fact that they are on the same hand. Likewise, no two relationships are same. Quit comparing...
Shame: The thought of how she would tell the world her relationship isn’t perfect, how her family and friends would look at her with pity and sympathy, how people would judge her could keep a sister in an abusive relationship. Dear sister, it is not your fault...unless of course you told your abuser you relish that sorta treatment!! And frankly, people will always talk whether you give them reason to do so or not.
Shame however brings me to what i really want to blog about today.
As a mother, my worst nightmare would be if something awfully terrible happened to my kids. As the mother of a little girl, the most terrible would be finding out my daughter has been sexually molested. I would be totally totally devastated. The challenge however lies in whether the daughter would confide in the mother at that time T. Its not the easiest thing to speak out about, considering that most of these molesters are usually trusted family members or family friends. I should know...i nearly happened to me.
I look back now and i laugh. It is hilarious now. Then, it was not remotely funny. The man my sibs and I called Uncle, the man that was my mother’s prayer partner, the man my parents trusted with our welfare, the man who nearly betrayed his friend’s trust.
At first, he was all concerns, acting like he really wanted to know how my-16-year-old-self was coping in the university. It was the holiday after my first semester exams. I remember he specifically asked whether my professors were making passes at me and i answered no, rolling my eyes and thinking, “Midget me? Why would professors make passes at me?”. Then he was touching my laps and asking, “Nobody does this to you?” and i was still innocently answering, “No, nobody does”. He was a trusted family friend; a trusted man of God. I had no reason whatsoever to think him otherwise. But when he squeezed my breasts, still asking, “You mean none of your lecturers have done this to you?”, my brain, the brain that read Every Woman at age 8 realised that something was fundamentally wrong with that set-up. Before i could even voice my disapproval, a kiss landed smack on my lips! O_O. I skipped from that sitting room, ran into the bedroom and locked the door. I didn’t come out until i heard he’s left and of course, i didn’t tell Momma...it really could’ve been a figment of my imagination.
It wasn’t the end. On days when he knew nobody would be at home except me, he’ll just show. I remember this day he knocked and knocked, on doors, on the windows, all the time saying, “I know you are in there” in such threatening manner, i was scared for my virginity. I laid down on the bathroom floor, as quiet as a drugged mouse and waited him out. Scary ass moment, i swear. I still didn’t tell nobody. Infact, if i was even thinking of telling my parents, he beat me to it. He told my mom i was possessed and needed deliverance. A couple of days later, my mom, with my best interest at heart, sent me off for deliverance...TO HIM!!!! Hahahahahaha!!!! Did i mention he was married? With kids? Oh yes, he was a “happily” married man and momma sent me to his flat for deliverance. I swear, i laughed so hard as i walked into his place...so disrespectful of me. It was inevitable really, that i would have zero regard for a man who would stoop so low as to use the excuse of spiritual liberation to cop a feel of budding breasts, man of God or not!
...and this sudden show of insolence is what mothers should always be on the lookout for. When your girls that hitherto loved and respected some male family members or family friends starts distancing themselves from them or are just jumpy around them, please ask questions. It is important.
I also remember the morning we got the news that my cousin’s dad died. Mom was overwhelmed. She knew she had to go comfort her sister but she wanted to put her own house in order first. So she sent me ahead of her. I asked her for transport money and she told me i need not worry about it, that Uncle G was going my way. I swallowed the lump that suddenly gathered in my throat. My fear was not baseless. Half way through the journey, i quietly demanded to be dropped off in the middle of nowhere. O gini? I would rather walk the rest of the way than be subjected to them roving paws! And each time i moved to stop him, he would swat my hands away and irately demand to know why i was behaving like a small child.
This story is not unfamiliar. It happens to thousands of kids worldwide, everyday and they would hug the experience to themselves. Some are molested by their fathers; some their brothers or step fathers or uncles. The fact remains that 80% of this evil act is perpetrated by men these kids trust. Some of these kids would be lucky and escape with their hymens, health and psyche intact. Some others would not be so lucky. In my case, I refused to be intimidated. I was old enough to nip it in the bud before it could fester. Till date, Momma still doesn’t know...at least i didn’t tell her.
A mother should, therefore
v Not wait until she is told or until she hears that her child has been molested before she moves to act.
v Not be quick to judge if and when the daughter confides in her. She already blames herself...she doesn’t need confirmation of her supposed culpability from any other person least of all her mother.
v Make herself easily accessible to her kids so they won’t ever hesitate to confide in her.
v Watch out for the telltale signs. It’s always there {would blog them at a later date}
v Most importantly, pray. Never ever underestimate the power of prayers, especially those said on the children’s behalf. If God does not watch a city, in vain do the watchers watch.
God help us all! Shout out to new followers...and those that faithfully comment. God bless your hustles, always...x
Progesterone Poisoning At It's Purest!
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The extent some folks go to cause another human being such pain is totally beyond me. I mean, how do their warped minds work? Do they have like a roster that says, “Today, i’m gonna mess up A’s life?” Below is a transcript of what transpired between a friend’s husband and an unknown lady hiding behind a false account on Facebook. Progesterone poisoning at its purest! I’m so grateful my friend allowed me blog this...
Facebook Lady: Are u aware that your wife is misbehaving with her ex boyfriends?
Friend’s Husband: No I am not aware. Pls tell me more, thanks.
Facebook Lady: No comment.
Friend’s Husband: I have confronted my wife with the accusation of misbehaving with her ex boyfriends and she rejects the accusation and she is very angry. I do not know you and i do not know why you chose to do this. I love my wife with all my heart, all my soul and everything I have and i am prepared to make her happy to the best of my ability and nature. I cannot replace her with anybody else and I trust her 100%. Even if she does wrong I am prepared to support her and point her mistakes to her. But what you call misbehaving with her ex boyfriends is very broad. What exactly are you talking about? Do you really know my wife? Or are you mistaken? If you know her, have you tried to advise her to stop misbehaving? Why do come to me? Why are you doing this? Are you trying to separate us? To hurt me and hurt her? I love her very much and I feel very bad when she cries.
Before nature, the sun, men, and the true God, if this story is false, let the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob not allow you live from the point of reading this letter more than 7years. This curses is your, if you do not furnish me facts about this misbehavior you claim. What God has put together no man or woman should put asunder. Make your choice!
*At this point, i’ll like to interject and say, “Correct guy!!”
Facebook Lady: Am sorry i message you; pls just forget this happened. I do not like the cursing aspect of this. Please forget it. It’s not true.
Friend’s Husband: The curse stays until you reveal your full names, your true Identity, who you really are. You cannot commit evil under a false Identity. Come clean then the curse will be taken away. The stress you have caused us is too much. I believe in the true God. I must know who you are really then I will revoke the curse. You do not play with the things of God. Holy matrimony is not a joke. You are dealing with fire.
Facebook Lady: My name is Nxxxe Oxxu. She really doesn't know me. I admire her from afar, am just jealous. The way she talks about the things she buys and the money she spent. I’m just a girl that is jealous of another girl. I’m sorry for the stress i have caused and do hope u forgive me and understand.
Friend’s Husband: Well, last step. You must load your true picture on this profile. I must know you and know how you look. You put yourself into this not me. And explain very well how you came to know her and people you know in her family and all her friends you know both boys and girls. Then this curse will be revoked. What you have given so far is insufficient. The true God is my witness.
Facebook Lady: Am sorry i message you; pls just forget this happened. I do not like the cursing aspect of this. Please forget it. It’s not true.
Friend’s Husband: The curse stays until you reveal your full names, your true Identity, who you really are. You cannot commit evil under a false Identity. Come clean then the curse will be taken away. The stress you have caused us is too much. I believe in the true God. I must know who you are really then I will revoke the curse. You do not play with the things of God. Holy matrimony is not a joke. You are dealing with fire.
Facebook Lady: My name is Nxxxe Oxxu. She really doesn't know me. I admire her from afar, am just jealous. The way she talks about the things she buys and the money she spent. I’m just a girl that is jealous of another girl. I’m sorry for the stress i have caused and do hope u forgive me and understand.
Friend’s Husband: Well, last step. You must load your true picture on this profile. I must know you and know how you look. You put yourself into this not me. And explain very well how you came to know her and people you know in her family and all her friends you know both boys and girls. Then this curse will be revoked. What you have given so far is insufficient. The true God is my witness.
Facebook Lady: Like I said earlier I know her through my friend in school. I don't know her personally and don't know any of her family members. We are all humans and we make mistakes. Holding on to me uploading my pix before revoking isn't fair. If you say God lives then forget everything and forgive. I have asked God for forgiveness and I know He has forgiven me. No one is above mistakes. I will upload my pix later in the day or some other time!
Friend’s Husband: This is no mistake. You will be affected. You cannot make people cry and call the name of God in vain. Do you really believe in God? Do you know how the things of God work? You tried to destroy the marriage of an innocent person. Do you know me? I married this lady in the true igbo tradition invoking the name of the true God, the God of our ancestors. Took her to the Alter of God and received His blessings! If you don't come out, let this 7 years not pass without you seeing the ground. Who do you think you are before God? Why would you carry out this wholehearted evil due to jealousy? I must know you, your real person before this curse is revoked.
Friend’s Husband: This is no mistake. You will be affected. You cannot make people cry and call the name of God in vain. Do you really believe in God? Do you know how the things of God work? You tried to destroy the marriage of an innocent person. Do you know me? I married this lady in the true igbo tradition invoking the name of the true God, the God of our ancestors. Took her to the Alter of God and received His blessings! If you don't come out, let this 7 years not pass without you seeing the ground. Who do you think you are before God? Why would you carry out this wholehearted evil due to jealousy? I must know you, your real person before this curse is revoked.
Phew! And it goes on and on. Wowzers! This is just beyond ridiculous. What kind of mistake is this one, for pete’s sake? Marriage is not boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. It is a lifetime commitment. “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder!” Does any other person sense the threat behind those words or is it just me?
Thank God for some of the men we marry. Methinks this dude handled himself well. Question though: Was the curse angle a little bit extreme? I don’t think so...it was deserving, but thats just my opinion. What's yours?
{There is more o! To blog it or not? Plus i really wanna know who this chic is...friend, family or foe?}
{There is more o! To blog it or not? Plus i really wanna know who this chic is...friend, family or foe?}
Question Of The Day
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Marital Rape
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The Arguments:
v Rape is forced, unwanted sexual intercourse.
v Rape is about power and not about sex. A rapist uses actual force to take away a person’s ability to fight back. Often times called Sexual Assault also, rape can happen to both men and women of any age.
v Marriage is a contract between a man and his wife.
v Conjugal right a.k.a right to sexual intercourse is part of the terms and conditions of that contract. Saying “I DO” means clicking “I Accept” the Terms and Conditions.
Question of the Day:
v Can a man truly rape his wife?
Comment your opinion...you know you have one about this issue!
OMG!!!
Labels:
Random
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Anyways, there i was in the market pricing fresh catfish {for Sunday rice tomorrow} and smoked Titus fish {for dinner tonight}. For some reason, i turned to look behind me....and froze. It was when i noticed people were looking at me funny that i realized i had been screaming, “OMG! OMG! OMG!”
If you live in Lagos, you’ll know that most neighbourhood markets are usually on the road. Mende Maryland’s is exceptionally busy because Anthony Village bound traffic passes through that market. At the very moment i turned to look behind me, i saw this 3 year old girl child being hit and flipped through the air {as if she was a rag doll} by a bike that was blowing jejely along the road. My goodness, it happened so fast: one minute, the girl’s minder was carrying her on her hips; the next minute, she was lying on the road...nearly lifeless! Apparently, the minder had been carrying the girl on her hips but as her load became too much, she put the girl down so she could gather all her purchases together. The minute she put her down, the girl skipped across the road....and the bike hit her and hard too! Her footwear was found in the gutter 2 blocks away from the scene of the accident. I kid you not!
While everybody was still shouting, “Take her to the pharmacist!”, i bundled both minder and children...alongside their bunch of ripe plaintains and wet toddler slippers into the car and asked the minder to point the way home. Reasons: [1] Someone other than the help needed to explain to the child’s mother the need to get the girl medical treatment ASAP and [2] It was NOT the minder’s fault...her Madam should know that!
I’m like the worst person to break a bad news to anybody especially this kinda news. How do you tell a mother her child was hit by a bike without it sounding like her child was hit by a bike? In her panicked state, she asked what happened. My people, i did the worst thing ever...I STARTED CRYING!!! From the point i saw that little girl somersaulting in the air until when i saw her mother, my head had been telling me that was my daughter Zi. Both girls look so alike except one is 3 and the other is 1+. If that was a car, the girl would be a corpse now! My emotions were so raw! I’m still shaking!
Her mother said she had a misgiving about sending the help to the market with the child but she had just gotten home from work and could not spare the extra energy to juggle the child antics alongside the headache she has been nursing from work.
I left her as she entered her car, hospital bound....panicked but trying to calm her even more panicked husband on the other end of the phone down.
Question is...Should i go back and check on that child tomorrow or should i leave them to their lives???
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