The Ten Commandments Of Being A Man

Something has been {and is still} going on with me that i can’t really put a finger to. But whatever it is has me waking up every morning with near blinding headaches. Sometimes, it feels like i just need to literally open up my head to let the pressure in there ease off. Quite overwhelming and energy sapping. It leaves me really tired most times. Lethargic. I have zero interest in stuff that usually excite me: tweeting, watching TV {i haven’t even seen an epi of Big Brother Stargame}, blogging...
I miss blogging. But there’s no space in my head right now to articulate words. I start a post and half way through it, i knock off to bed. By the next day, the inspiration is long gone. In case y’all haven’t figured it out, this is a public apology for abandoning this blog {and some others i faithfully troll} for so long. I promise, i have so many half baked posts in Draftville. As soon as they are baked, y’all best believe im gonna serve them hot.
In the meantime, enjoy this post i came across a while back. Written by a male guest writer on Mollie’s fab blog, this is a must-read for every WOMAN. I say Woman because i KNOW y’all will ensure your significant others get the link to this post. Don’t say i didn’t share. Enjoy....

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Gentlemen, treating a woman like the epitome of beauty that she is, is not a difficult task, and trust me when I say, there are certain positive rewards for good behaviour. Kind of like prison, but if you were/are in prison, you probably need a little more help than an article on chivalry. Or maybe you can use these lessons to woo your cellmate. Like I said earlier, I don’t judge.
As a man, much like you, I am lazy, and therefore I am going to write my “Ten Commandments of Being a Man” in a handy dandy list format…it worked for God, it’ll work for me. Feel free to print this out and put in your wallet, trust me, you will thank me later. Without further adieu…
1. She is your girl, you should have no girl but her
Seriously this is important. When you are on a date with a girl, she should be the only girl that matters. This is immeasurably more important if you are dating or married to said girl. Do not text another girl, do not talk to another girl, and no hitting on the waitress. There is no other girl but her when you are out with her.
2. Do not worship technological idols
Put your iPhone, iPod, iPad, laptop, Blackberry and any other piece of technological idolatry away. Do you really need to check your fantasy football team while eating lunch? Trust me bro, she does not care how many points Aaron Rogers is putting up, no matter how interested she may appear.
3. Do not take the word woman in vain
Never use the words: bitch, slut, tramp, especially the “C” word, or any other derogatory word about a woman around your woman. A true gentleman does not use these words to begin with, but I am not writing this for a true gentleman, I am writing this for you. Included in this commandment, never call your woman by another woman’s name. Honestly, it is the equivalent of using any of the words found on the list above, but probably a million times harsher. (Well maybe not as bad as the “C” word…trust me guys, they HATE that word.)
4. Remember key dates. Get off your lazy ass and do something on them
Women remember everything, and you better believe that even if they do not act like it, it is a big deal that you forgot about the day you first met, trust me, they care. This is not an impossible task guys. Remember her birthday, your anniversary; Valentine’s Day…heck some of you may need help remembering New Year’s Eve. There is no excuse…there is an app for that.
5. Honour her Father and Mother
This should seem pretty self explanatory, but for those of you who choose to move at a more glacial pace, this means to treat her parents with the upmost respect. A daughter is the most precious thing in the world to a father (Hell, John Mayer wrote a freaking song about it, if you haven’t heard it, ask to borrow your girlfriend’s iPod). How a man treats his girlfriend’s mother will tell the girlfriend a lot about your character as a person. Remember, these are the people who raised her, the people who think she is infallible, and the people who definitely do not want their little girl going out with anyone that remotely resembles a douchebag. Sir and Ma’am, Mr/Mrs., will go a long way at securing a happy relationship with your girlfriend.
6. Thou shalt not murder her friendships
A girl needs girl time. Never bad mouth her friends, or try to keep her away from them. You will come to find that befriending her friends will become much more advantageous to you than trashing them. A girl’s circle of friends is similar to a go to therapist if you will, believe me when I say, it will be much better for you when you screw up (trust me, you will, you are a man) if her friends have issued upon you their stamp of approval.
7. Thou SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY!
For those of you who were in the remedial class, this means DO NOT CHEAT! Don’t even think about it.
8. Thou shalt not steal
Part of being a man is having a bank account, a job, a car, an apartment/house. If you do not, then you probably should not be dating to begin with. (Seriously, get off your ass and find a job). It is sad that I even have to tell you this, but do not take stuff from your girlfriend. Be a man, pay for dinner, do not drive around in her car, and do not take advantage of her apartment so that you can get out of your Mom’s basement, basically, grow up.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against your girlfriend
Want to know the quickest way to Dumpsville? Lie to your girlfriend. It does not matter if it is a small lie like, “I am sorry I am late baby, I stopped by the bank on the way home.” when you actually went to your buddy’s house to play a game of Madden. Or a BIG lie like, “I swear I have no idea how those panties ended up in my laundry.” (We already went over this with #7 btw.) To a woman, a lie is a lie, is a lie, and once you are a liar, you will always be a liar. The truth will set you free gentleman, and believe it or not, she will respect you more if you just own up to your shortcomings.
10. Thou shalt not covet other people’s stuff
This may seem pretty small in comparison to everything else listed in this article but nothing turns off a woman faster than you whining about what you don’t have. Women want a man with ambition and a backbone…sitting around complaining that so and so has this or that, is not going to garnish sympathy, it will garnish resentment. And more than likely end in your girlfriend running to find Mr. So And So. Man up, and take pride in what you have, be humble toward what others have, and show the ambition to achieve what you want. Your girlfriend does not want to hear you complain about your friend’s 60”LCD screen and NFL ticket on Direct TV, and whine about how you wish you had it.
Well there you have it gentleman, The Ten Commandments of Being a Man. Remember these are just guidelines, if you follow them, you will have a much happier and healthier relationship. Nothing I discussed is that hard to do. It will probably take you less time than checking your Facebook status, which seriously bro, at a certain point you should probably grow out of doing…but that’s another article.
Thank you Mollie, for letting me repost this. Mollie writes at http://www.mollieinseattle.com/. Do visit.
Like the commandments? Then Share! Share!! Share!!! Toodles hunnies....x

8 comments:

Gbemisoke said...

Hahaha.
I remember feeling like this last year, I wrote a post abt being exhausted & dozing off at the wheels. If u don't believe me, here's the link.
http://www.gbemisoke.blogspot.com/2011/03/dozing-off-at-wheelstrue-story.html?m=1

Two weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. Congratulations in advance! Chets & Zi would surely be great big bro & sis. ;)

Hazel said...

Hahaha. Gbems, you are too funny joor *rme* I'm sure its regular malaria or worst case, typhoid. *writes reminder to buy a PT strip*

Where will I get N18m from?

Toinlicious said...

lmao @u both. Congrats anywoo lmao

Jemima said...

Ha Hazel, you mean you neva do test, that's the first thing i thought of too, congrats in advance o ...lol

HoneyDame said...

LMAO......Gbem Gem wan do HAzel strong thing!!!....Biko Hazel, explain to me again why you are being congratulated. LMAO....

These commandments should be thought in schools, seminars, everywhere

Hazel said...

@Toin @Jemima Y'all should stay off my comment section with the congratulations! A girl can't have malaria in peace? LOL

Hazel said...

Exactly @Honeydame. I have nooooo idea why these chics are congratulating me. Abi I win lottery? LMAO

@ilola said...

Lool, this is one of the few posts a guy would put up and ladies will agree with all the points