Appréciation

Its been a hectic 2012 and we are only 2 months and a few days in.
Three weeks ago, the hubby was ill. Men never fall sick, have you noticed? But when they do, nsogbu di! Yours truly was the Nurse.
Two weeks ago, Zi was ill [my last post]. Inflammed tonsils, ear infection and hyperpyrexia a.k.a high fever [i love messing with you, Foluke]. Yours truly was Nurse and Pharmacist.
This week, Chets decided it was his turn. Gastroenteritis. Food poisoning. Why won’t these children have normal ailments? Headache or bruised knees? Why? This time, yours truly was Doctor [i seriously doubt Lagoon Hospital has one], Nurse and Pharmacist.
Yours truly is actively a banker. Yours truly is a hustling business woman. Yours truly is a pharmacist in her spare time. Yours truly is a size 14 starving dieting to get to a size 12. Hungry. Angry. Too angry! Angry at the hubby: why is he never in town when i need him the most? Angry at the kids: why won’t they try and keep their meds down? Like seriously, its bad enough they are keeping me awake in the night, the least they could do is get well quicker!!
Over-utilized. Under-appreciated.

Have you ever kneeled down and prayed, “Lord, please let me be sick. Even if its for 2 days, pleaseeee!” Have you? Well i have. Because being sick is about the only way i can get respite from everything without feeling guilty. But i’m not even allowed to be sick!!! The hubby says, “Who will take care of us if you fall sick?” Selfish much? Appreciation much? I’m still trying to decide!
Depression is real y’all. Its a black hole that sucks you in and it is a huge struggle to break free of.
Sometimes, family help break you out of it. Sometimes, it takes well meaning friends. In my case, a Channel bag gifted to me by a darling made my heart smile [Thank you, Rockstar]. The world is almost beautiful again. Its still dark but i see colours! Cobalt blue to be precise...the colour of my new bag.
Thank You to every single one of you that tolerated my excesses in the past few days; to all of you that sent in kind words and encouraging Bible passages; to YOU that called and allowed me cry on the phone for nearly an hour and to y’all reading this rambling. You all help[ed]. Thank you!
I think i’m back! Who missed me?  

17 comments:

Crave's Corner said...

Bless!
:)

angie said...

God made u a strong woman. With HIM u can do all things.
Welcome back! I missed U

@ilola said...

Aww, sorry. God will continue to be your strength.
I have missed you

Toin said...

Being a woman is the most amazing thing ever. Stay strong and I missed you :-)

Gbemisoke said...

Yes!
Speaking the truth and making me laugh all at once. :o)

I usually say that the reason God made parenting a volunteer job with no financial reward is that there is no amount that would suffice. Getting paid in toothless smiles, hugs and "I wuv yoo mummy" is well worth it though, and of course like your "Rockstar" has figured out, colbat blue arm candy is a good way to show appreciation ;o)

Coy~Introvert said...

((((hugs)))) :)

Anonymous said...

Totally agree with Toin and Gbemisoke!

What you just wrote truly reflects what so many women the world over feel at different points of their lives. 'Over-utilized; under appreciated'. As women, God has given us the Grace and we are able.

Take care dearie.

Jemima said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jemima said...

aww you know what they say, 'men may work from dawn to dusk, but a woman's work is never done', there is grace available for you just ask it...pele

Okeoghene said...

The Lord is your strength

Ema Leecious said...

awww, sorry dear! So much to do...but then, God knows you CAN handle it all.
Hope he's a lot better now? And no, you are not even allowed to fall sick.
Lol @ "its still dark, but I see colours"

HoneyDame said...

Oh Hazel! How you manage to convey these strong messages with the right infusion of humor is beyond me!Ezi Nwanyi!!! God bless you and strengthen you....may God provide many more Rockstars so that you will never have to walk even around the peripheral of that hole......


You know me I millllsed you o!
(now chanelling Jenifa), I am priding you because you are a humbling geh....
Welcome back!

Anonymous said...

Ko easy my dear but God is ur strenght

Hazel said...

@Crave's Corner Thanks love.

@Angie @ilola @Toin I missed you guys something fierce too.

@Gbemi You know how it is. We'll take our rewards any way we can get it...toothless gummy smiles and sloppy kisses.

Hazel said...

@CoyIntrovert @Anon 6:23 @Jemima @Okeoghene @Anon 6:34 Thank you so much.

@Ema He's a lot better. Thank you so much

@HoneyDame You are cracking up so much right now. Love u babe x

G-FUNC said...

I read your post and I guess I kinda know what you're going through. I live with three less-than-two-year olds and I have a good idea of what goes down when they're ill... at once.

I'm glad that someone has give you a reason to smile and pray that your strength to bear increases or your "wahala" decreases :)

I'm stealing a line of your's though, this one:

"The world is almost beautiful again. Its still dark but i see colours! Cobalt blue to be precise..."

Cheers !!!

Tamie said...

A woman in her best role-multitasking...

Sometimes I've been tempted to wish I were indisposed for a few days just to get some respite from some immediate stress,but the thought that 'what if this thing now turns into something else and lasts longer' had stopped mi from voicing such wish.
God's grace to U̶̲̥̅̊.