Progesterone Poisoning At It's Purest!

The extent some folks go to cause another human being such pain is totally beyond me. I mean, how do their warped minds work? Do they have like a roster that says, “Today, i’m gonna mess up A’s life?” Below is a transcript of what transpired between a friend’s husband and an unknown lady hiding behind a false account on Facebook. Progesterone poisoning at its purest! I’m so grateful my friend allowed me blog this...
Facebook Lady: Are u aware that your wife is misbehaving with her ex boyfriends?
Friend’s Husband: No I am not aware. Pls tell me more, thanks.
Facebook Lady: No comment.
Friend’s Husband: I have confronted my wife with the accusation of misbehaving with her ex boyfriends and she rejects the accusation and she is very angry. I do not know you and i do not know why you chose to do this. I love my wife with all my heart, all my soul and everything I have and i am prepared to make her happy to the best of my ability and nature. I cannot replace her with anybody else and I trust her 100%. Even if she does wrong I am prepared to support her and point her mistakes to her. But what you call misbehaving with her ex boyfriends is very broad. What exactly are you talking about? Do you really know my wife? Or are you mistaken? If you know her, have you tried to advise her to stop misbehaving? Why do come to me? Why are you doing this? Are you trying to separate us? To hurt me and hurt her? I love her very much and I feel very bad when she cries.
Before nature, the sun, men, and the true God, if this story is false, let the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob not allow you live from the point of reading this letter more than 7years. This curses is your, if you do not furnish me facts about this misbehavior you claim. What God has put together no man or woman should put asunder. Make your choice!
*At this point, i’ll like to interject and say, “Correct guy!!”

Facebook Lady: Am sorry i message you; pls just forget this happened. I do not like the cursing aspect of this. Please forget it. It’s not true.

Friend’s Husband: The curse stays until you reveal your full names, your true Identity, who you really are. You cannot commit evil under a false Identity. Come clean then the curse will be taken away. The stress you have caused us is too much. I believe in the true God. I must know who you are really then I will revoke the curse. You do not play with the things of God. Holy matrimony is not a joke. You are dealing with fire.

Facebook Lady: My name is Nxxxe Oxxu. She really doesn't know me. I admire her from afar, am just jealous. The way she talks about the things she buys and the money she spent. I’m just a girl that is jealous of another girl. I’m sorry for the stress i have caused and do hope u forgive me and understand.

Friend’s Husband: Well, last step. You must load your true picture on this profile. I must know you and know how you look. You put yourself into this not me. And explain very well how you came to know her and people you know in her family and all her friends you know both boys and girls. Then this curse will be revoked. What you have given so far is insufficient. The true God is my witness.
Facebook Lady: Like I said earlier I know her through my friend in school. I don't know her personally and don't know any of her family members. We are all humans and we make mistakes. Holding on to me uploading my pix before revoking isn't fair. If you say God lives then forget everything and forgive. I have asked God for forgiveness and I know He has forgiven me. No one is above mistakes. I will upload my pix later in the day or some other time!

Friend’s Husband: This is no mistake. You will be affected. You cannot make people cry and call the name of God in vain. Do you really believe in God? Do you know how the things of God work? You tried to destroy the marriage of an innocent person. Do you know me? I married this lady in the true igbo tradition invoking the name of the true God, the God of our ancestors. Took her to the Alter of God and received His blessings! If you don't come out, let this 7 years not pass without you seeing the ground. Who do you think you are before God? Why would you carry out this wholehearted evil due to jealousy? I must know you, your real person before this curse is revoked.
Phew! And it goes on and on. Wowzers! This is just beyond ridiculous. What kind of mistake is this one, for pete’s sake? Marriage is not boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. It is a lifetime commitment. “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder!” Does any other person sense the threat behind those words or is it just me?
Thank God for some of the men we marry. Methinks this dude handled himself well. Question though: Was the curse angle a little bit extreme? I don’t think was deserving, but thats just my opinion. What's yours?

{There is more o! To blog it or not? Plus i really wanna know who this chic is...friend, family or foe?}

Question Of The Day

The Arguments:
v  Rape is forced, unwanted sexual intercourse.
v  Rape is about power and not about sex. A rapist uses actual force to take away a person’s ability to fight back. Often times called Sexual Assault also, rape can happen to both men and women of any age.
v  Marriage is a contract between a man and his wife.
v  Conjugal right a.k.a right to sexual intercourse is part of the terms and conditions of that contract. Saying “I DO” means clicking “I Accept” the Terms and Conditions.
Question of the Day:
v  Can a man truly rape his wife?
Comment your know you have one about this issue!


This evening, i drove to my neighbourhood market to buy some veggies i needed for dinner. I had been out all morning through to the early hours of the afternoon and so i felt i owed my family a nice homely dinner...i wanted to make this new Beans recipe i got from my fine Calabar friend Meerandah earlier in the day.
Anyways, there i was in the market pricing fresh catfish {for Sunday rice tomorrow} and smoked Titus fish {for dinner tonight}. For some reason, i turned to look behind me....and froze. It was when i noticed people were looking at me funny that i realized i had been screaming, “OMG! OMG! OMG!” 
If you live in Lagos, you’ll know that most neighbourhood markets are usually on the road. Mende Maryland’s is exceptionally busy because Anthony Village bound traffic passes through that market. At the very moment i turned to look behind me, i saw this 3 year old girl child being hit and flipped through the air {as if she was a rag doll} by a bike that was blowing jejely along the road. My goodness, it happened so fast: one minute, the girl’s minder was carrying her on her hips; the next minute, she was lying on the road...nearly lifeless! Apparently, the minder had been carrying the girl on her hips but as her load became too much, she put the girl down so she could gather all her purchases together. The minute she put her down, the girl skipped across the road....and the bike hit her and hard too! Her footwear was found in the gutter 2 blocks away from the scene of the accident. I kid you not!
While everybody was still shouting, “Take her to the pharmacist!”, i bundled both minder and children...alongside their bunch of ripe plaintains and wet toddler slippers into the car and asked the minder to point the way home. Reasons: [1] Someone other than the help needed to explain to the child’s mother the need to get the girl medical treatment ASAP and [2] It was NOT the minder’s fault...her Madam should know that!
I’m like the worst person to break a bad news to anybody especially this kinda news. How do you tell a mother her child was hit by a bike without it sounding like her child was hit by a bike? In her panicked state, she asked what happened. My people, i did the worst thing ever...I STARTED CRYING!!! From the point i saw that little girl somersaulting in the air until when i saw her mother, my head had been telling me that was my daughter Zi. Both girls look so alike except one is 3 and the other is 1+. If that was a car, the girl would be a corpse now! My emotions were so raw! I’m still shaking!
Her mother said she had a misgiving about sending the help to the market with the child but she had just gotten home from work and could not spare the extra energy to juggle the child antics alongside the headache she has been nursing from work.
I left her as she entered her car, hospital bound....panicked but trying to calm her even more panicked husband on the other end of the phone down.
Question is...Should i go back and check on that child tomorrow or should i leave them to their lives???


I knew this day would come...
I’ve known for a couple of weeks now...
It’s been like a time bomb ticking away to destruction...
It was not unlike a volcano boiling to eruption...
I saw the signs; I felt the symptoms...
I chose to ignore it...
I knew this day would come; Today is/was the day.
I’ve been courting a breakdown, waltzing on the edge without thought to safety, pushing myself so damn hard to the brink, thinking me a Superwoman. I am good at juggling...I’ve almost never dropped any balls. I am that good...BOOM! I’ve been juggling family, work, friends, colleagues, domestic staff, businesses {in plural}....but for some reason, balls be dropping in recent times and they are actually causing me body harm.
Did I tell y’all that my househelp of the It Starts Again! post ran away 10 days again? Yes, she did! I went out on that Saturday to attend to one of my businesses and i got back to her absence. Nobody knew when she slunk outta the house. She did leave her suitcase-ful of dirty stinking clothes behind...makes me wonder what she stole to make up for that deliberate oversight. Couple of days ago, i found an ID card with her face on it but the name reads Oluwakemi R. Reymond! O_O. She told me her name was Blessing from Ogoja. Oluwakemi does not sound like any Ogoja name i know! *the hammer in my head resumes its pounding duty*
I can’t....I just can’t shout!
It took one itsy bitsy random scorch egg from Mama Cass and the volcano erupted! Food poisoning is a curse from Hades. Today, it swirled through my body and the last kilojoules of energy i’ve got left, it totally sapped. My stomach cells feels decimated, my body feels drained...hollow even. I’ve got no energy left for anything...
...anything except for Chets, who seems to be having his own episode of food poisoning from the porridge they foisted on him in school.
I’m watching Zizi wreck havoc on my DSTV decoder with her little pink Ikea fork and i’ve got no strength to shout her out of the spot.
I loathe unmade beds and untidy spaces. I cannot even exist in such environs. At the moment, I am lying on a bed piled high with rumpled bunched-together bed sheets and duvet, smack in the middle of a room that is begging for a visit from any resident of Broomsville. Did i mention there are clothes strewn in all directions? In my normal reality, i woulda broken out in pulsating boils; i woulda been itching all over. Things are not normal at the moment....i’ve got no strength. I DO NOT CARE!
I can’t shout!
I’m going to stop now and go "suck my thumb" for the rest of the night, hoping and praying that sometime during the night, the universe will align itself and give me back my reality. I hate being sick...who will take care of my babies?
I think i need vacay time...
Sometimes, i wish i wasn’t an adult yet...way too many responsibilities!

Who Makes The Rules Anyway?

Statements like “You are nearly 25. When are you gonna get married?” or “Aint you too old to still be single at 29? Go and find yourself a man and marry!” we’ve all heard either directly or indirectly at some points in our existence. Some folks are subtle about it; others, like some parents, would blatantly shove it in your face, “Eliza, what are you still doing in my house? Is it not time to move into your husband’s house? Do you remember Chief Okonkwo’s daughter, that one we went to see in the hospital when she was born? She’s married o, with two children. Children younger than you are all married and you are still here. What are you waiting for?”
My question is: Who makes the rules? Who says when it is right for a lady to get married and when it is not? Who, apart from lady directly involved? As long as she is 18+.
Once upon a time, women got married at 16. Society called it Child Abuse. I totally agree. What does a girl know about men at that age except that if she kisses a boy, she’ll get pregnant? However, the same society that cried foul play years ago when fathers used to sell off their teenage daughters to their cronies now demands that daughters be married before they hit the big 3-0. It tends to sympathise with chics that are yet unmarried; as if they are some defective products nobody wants to buy. The pressure! It becomes even more pitiful when a lady embraces that pressure with statements like “My mates are all getting married. Why should my fate be different?”
Sometimes, it’s really not about the availability of men but about a girl’s preparedness. In my opinion, a girl should get married when she is good and ready; when she’s physically, emotional and mentally prepped for that phase of her life and no sooner. If ready at 18, then by all means marry and procreate. At 20, i was so not even thinking a steady relationship talk more of a forever one. In hindsight, i wished i had gotten married at 20. By now, the kids woulda been packed off to college and i would still have enough juice and stamina to rough a second honeymoon. But the operative word here is hindsight. Mostly at 20, you cannot even begin to comprehend the need and the importance of the act of juggling....juggling family and in-laws, that is. At 20, you might not fully understand the power financial {in}dependence wields on a marriage. It could make or mar a union. Most importantly, at 20, the heart is a lot more involved in the relationship than the head, thanks to Mills & Boon and Harlequin Romance. Marriage requires both the heart and the head in equal partnership. At the very least, the heart will know to forgive when he cheats {if he cheats} and the head will know when to skip if he beats.
If a girl wants to study and build her career to a certain level before marriage, who is to tell her not to? It is her prerogative; it’s her life. If she wants to marry before studies and career, it’s still her choice. No girl should allow herself be pressured, both by society or by self, into committing to a forever that she would live {or not} to regret because she was expected to marry at 29 and she just hooked up with the first decent guy that said hello.
In the end, I’ll like to think that life is really about two things: 1. Being happy and 2. Making heaven {I do believe in Heaven and Hell} and in my books, these two are intertwined together. All the hustles we commit to daily is just in pursuit of happiness. If it makes one happy to be gay, so be it. If one’s happiness stems from being single, being married, having family, building a career....whatever drug of choice makes a person happy, nobody else has a right to dictate otherwise. Nobody else except GOD. Every other person can just provide guidance and leave it at that!
Marriage is hard enough with the right person and the right attitude. With the wrong person, its a suicide mission! My two kobo....