Bitching Mode Activated


I had such high hopes for today.

Beddings’n’Beyond is running at full speed, its all i can do to keep up. Not that i am complaining...nevers. I just think i need me an assistant to hold shit together before it hits the fan.

Today, i was supposed to sort out window treatment a.k.a curtains for this client that requested for services beyond beddings: beds, bedsheets, bathroom touch-up, sitting room furniture, wall colours, curtains, the whole works. The deadline is beyond ridic...a few days! My major headache is/was the curtains for the sitting rooms and its doubly so cos the wall colours for that space is being handled by another outfit and i’m supposed to work the curtain colours around the wall paint, as should be or vice versa.

Its so frustrating when you are forced to rely on another person’s vision in order to bring yours to life. And dude is not inclined to share his vision. He just threw “Look for sososos colour” at me and left it at that. I spent the whole day looking for curtains in sososos colour and he vetoes all the samples i sent to him. I swear, it took the special grace of God to stop me from reaching through the phone and wringing his neck!!!

I’ve sorta decided to let him handle the curtains. It’ll be tragic if after all that money spent, the client ends up with an uncoordinated living room because the two people he trusted to spruce up his space could not reach an agreement! I’m pissed tho cos the time i spent on that hunt i could’ve channelled towards sorting out accessories for the other rooms in the house.

There! I’m done. Bitching mode deactivated. It didn’t help much tho. I still feel....somehow.


Morbid post alert!

Of late, i’ve become obsessed with the subject of mortality. Maybe because of the many deaths and natural/unnatural disasters happening the world over. I cant help but think, “If i die today what next? What happens to me? Will the great beyond be like in the dreams? Heaven? Hell? WHAT NEXT?

Im afraid...very afraid...and not just for me. Im afraid for my kids. What happens to them? If they died today, will they make Heaven? Have i taught them enough to guarantee that? If there really is heaven and hell, it would kill me for eternity if they do not make heaven!!!

I saw, really close up, a dead body lying on Ikorodu Road today. It looked like it had been lying there for days. From afar, it looked like that body was beheaded. The head was still attached...just that it was at an unholy/unbelievable angle! OMG!!! *shivers* It was a full grown man, someone’s child, lying on the road like an animal...a road kill!!! *shivers*

Truly, everything is vanity upon vanity! Find Christ today!!!!!

#notetoself: Shake this mood off!!!

Won Him In A Drunken Bet!


Today is my marriage anniversary! 17th of February is my wedding anniversary. Confused? Read up on Bonne Anniversaire for clarification. So my girl Bid thinks i’m eating my cake and having it and threatened that if i didn’t  justify the gifts i get today by working “hard” tonight, i was gonna be sorry. This post is about the only thing that would appease her plus it really would be fun walking down memory lane J
So, did you click on this post link as soon as you saw the title hoping to get the scoop on how a grown man was won in a bet? Hehehe! Aproks is such a sweet pasttime. Now i know why and how gossip rags and tabloids sell so much with their ridiculous headlines meant solely to deceive folks into patronizing them...
Not that I'm deceiving anyone here today! I did win my hubby in a drunken bet. Maybe not the Hollywood kinda betting scenario where someone put him up as leverage and I win him! Nah, nothing so dramatic! All I can say is that there was a bet, and there were alcohol and there was him and then, the start of that journey!
I was in my 2nd year, School of Pharmacy University of Nigeria, Nsukka! Can i get some Lions and Lionesses to roar??? Oohkay...back to the gist! For some reason then, our school calendar differed from that of the rest of the university, except for prolly the medical students, which didn’t matter much because they were in another campus. Anyways, the difference in school calendar meant that we usually wrote exams when the rest of the school‘s on holiday, possibly to minimise distractions...i can only guess. If you were staying in school accommodations, that period sees you getting new Rx roomies....we were all usually holed up in one or two designated hostels for security reasons!
Activity pattern was pretty much a straight line: from hostel room to the classroom for lectures, then to library to study, then back to the classroom for revisions and finally back to the hostel room to sleep the rest of the day away against the night’s marathon reading a.k.a TDB (Till Day Break)! No parties, no hanging outs, no behind-Ziks’ flat fries runs, no drunken truth or dare sessions, no boys!!! Very linear life....extremely boring!! I wonder how we even fed those days. Oh, i remember...die-hard Mama Leke's joint! Without that woman and those urchins that usually assisted her, we woulda been subjected to lemming on okpa or noodles of the boiling ring variety or bread and Coca Cola for survival! UNN was a community in itself...stepping out to town to search for food was seriously looooong thing!
Anyways, there i was trying to sleep against TDB on that fateful day! Well, i wasn’t “trying” to sleep. I was well asleep but my new roomie and her male visitor chatting up a storm roused me from my slumber.  Topic of dispute: Alcohol and their tolerance or is it intolerance for it! Seriously, couldn’t they have had that discussion without raising such hell? Somehow though, i got drawn into the discussion. My roommate has got such a vivacious personality you can’t help but roll with the punches! So, i got embroiled in the discussion and before i knew it, i was boasting of downing three small bottles of Guinness Stout and still stand on my feet {{there’s something wrong with that last sentence but i can’t place it for the life of me}}. As at the time of this declaration, i had never tasted alcohol, except for those sips my daddy allowed me off his beer glass when i was much younger. I figured if it didn’t trip me then, it wasn’t gonna start now!
Like joke like joke, bets were placed and off we went to Ekpo Ref, Njk, Male Visitor and Yours Truly! Was it Ekpo Ref? I forget but the joint was a hub of activity, 24/7. The bet was that if after two bottles of the stout brew i was still standing, i get a certain amount of money. The amount is a bit fuzzy now...this happened nearly eleven years ago! What i do remember was the excitement i felt!!! Kai, a welcome fun change from the dreary routine of exam period!
I learned so much about myself that day. The one glaring lesson, though, was that i do not have a head for alcohol! At all!!! Till date sef! ‘Twas a lesson i learned the bitter way, pun so not intended! I thoroughly disgraced myself. Half way through the first bottle, i was spewing gibberish. My brain thought one thing, my mouth churned out another! I remember Male Visitor asked what 7+7 was. My brain though 14; i answered 49, then 77, then 47! Wow! That wasn’t all! Hand-eye coordination deterioriated to non-existent! Who woulda thunk it possible? Certainly not me! I was so sure i would hold my own, liquor wise! Boy, was i wrong! My eyes wouldn’t stop rolling in their sockets! People, i was half-dragged to my room!
And that was the state i was in when i met the hubby. Male Visitor was his bestie and after he heard the gist, he came to see the pint-sized drunken albeit cute Pharmacy chic for himself. Yes, he thought i was cute. Still thinks i’m cute. Which is sooo cute! The history!!!
So i lost the bet but i gained me a friend and an amazing man! Totally #winning!
Bid, there you have it! Satisfied?! You best be withdrawing that threat right about now!!!

Comfort Meets Style


I am anal about my space. Ttranslated to, i am anal about my bedroom, especially my bed. After the toils and hustles and drama of the day, my bedroom is the one place i can't wait to get to, to ease off  the stress, to stretch and relax and  re-group against the next day's toil. I love a neat room. I particularly love a well-laid bed!
The bed is the focal point of a bedroom and whats a bed without a bedsheet?
Have you ever laid on a bedsheet and you have to wake up every five minutes to swat away imaginery ants?
Have you ever laid on a bed and the sheet feels like someone dusted their beach slippers on your bed?
Have you ever laid on a bed and you just feel pins and needles all through the night? 
 If you are lucky, you'll wake up feeling soooo unrested. If you are unlucky, you'll have a nightmare and still wake up feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
I love bedsheets...they just transform a bedroom from a space with four walls to a cozy haven!

So, i intoduce to y'all my passion and my business, Beddings'n'Beyond, dedicated to transforming your room to a santuary with swag. The bedsheets are tailored to your specifications: flatsheets, fitted sheets, duvets, duvet covers; whatever you want. The sheets are top quality, washes well with no colour fade. I could go on and on, extolling their "virtues" but i wont...i trial will convince you.

To place your orders, you can contact me on:
phone: +234 803 564 3392
Prices are from N5000

My vision for this business amazes me but it would amount to nothing without your support. Buy one and tell your friends and family! God continue to bless y'all...x

Think Comfort; Think Style; Think Beddings'n'Beyond


I often wondered why some guys feel compelled to re-discover the “west”. Why aren’t they usually satisfied with the goldmines they got going for themselves? You feel i’m banging my head on a rock, what until your read this BBM chat between these two friends *evil chuckle*. I must say, i honing this habit of being in the right place at the right time, gist-wise, to perfection. Read...
Bryan: You promised me one {“one” in this case is a chic}
Jewel: LOL
Bryan: Please help a brother na
Jewel: Is it now a commodity? You and the one in Port-Harcourt broke up?
Bryan: Not really. But i need another person?
Jewel: Really? Do you want to marry two women?
Bryan: Nooo. I just need to compare and contrast. Please give me a number
Jewel: Why do you need to compare and contrast? Since you said you like the chic in Port-Harcourt, go and do something. She will soon leave you oo.
Bryan: I’m waiting!
Jewel: Your problem is choice. Lets say i wanna humour you, what tribe do you want the girl to be from?
Bryan: Anywhere o. If the chic is okay, i don’t particularly mind the tribe she’s from. Please, look for a sharp lady for me.
Bryan has been dating his girl for a bit now and they are already talking marriage. Jewel is Bryan’s second cousin. Bryan did not delete this chat...his babe read it!!!! And she’s not speaking to him as i blog.
This, floored me! What can he do or say to make this better??? What?

What Entered Nte's Trap...

If Blogsville was Twitter, Domestic Violence woulda been a TT Trending Topic. Inspired by the story of the gruesome murder of Titi, a mother-of-one by her 30 year old husband a few weeks back, many bloggers, and society for that matter, have publicly expressed their distaste for domestic abuse. Who could blame them? No woman should be emotionally or verbally or worse yet, physically abused by a man who claims to love her, a man to whom she was cleaved to by a priest, in the presence of God.
In this day and age where women are a lot less mousy, a little more outspoken and mostly financially independent, one wonders: Does domestic violence still happen? To that stupid question, i answer, Heck YES. In fact, a woman is being slapped around by her partner somewhere in the world, this very minute. The big question is: Why Does She choose to stay In an Abusive Relationship/Marriage?
Financial dependence: As long as she cannot conveniently afford life as she’s already used to in her marital home, nothing is gonna make her leave. Women are materialistic beings...I say this confidently. Many a woman will rather chop slaps and beatings from the man that would pay her bills than be left to her devices, finance-wise.
Peer pressure: The day we stop comparing ourselves to others will be the day of our liberation. Do this little exercise with me: Look at those five fingers on your left hand. Do you see any two fingers of equal length? You do? Surely, YOU MUST BE AN ALIEN...and i ask that you kindly vamoose from my blog. Just kidding. Seriously though, no two fingers are equal, regardless of the fact that they are on the same hand. Likewise, no two relationships are same. Quit comparing...
Shame: The thought of how she would tell the world her relationship isn’t perfect, how her family and friends would look at her with pity and sympathy, how people would judge her could keep a sister in an abusive relationship. Dear sister, it is not your fault...unless of course you told your abuser you relish that sorta treatment!! And frankly, people will always talk whether you give them reason to do so or not.
Shame however brings me to what i really want to blog about today.
 As a mother, my worst nightmare would be if something awfully terrible happened to my kids. As the mother of a little girl, the most terrible would be finding out my daughter has been sexually molested. I would be totally totally devastated. The challenge however lies in whether the daughter would confide in the mother at that time T. Its not the easiest thing to speak out about, considering that most of these molesters are usually trusted family members or family friends. I should know...i nearly happened to me.
I look back now and i laugh. It is hilarious now. Then, it was not remotely funny. The man my sibs and I called Uncle, the man that was my mother’s prayer partner, the man my parents trusted with our welfare, the man who nearly betrayed his friend’s trust.
At first, he was all concerns, acting like he really wanted to know how my-16-year-old-self was coping in the university. It was the holiday after my first semester exams. I remember he specifically asked whether my professors were making passes at me and i answered no, rolling my eyes and thinking, “Midget me? Why would professors make passes at me?”. Then he was touching my laps and asking, “Nobody does this to you?” and i was still innocently answering, “No, nobody does”. He was a trusted family friend; a trusted man of God. I had no reason whatsoever to think him otherwise. But when he squeezed my breasts, still asking, “You mean none of your lecturers have done this to you?”, my brain, the brain that read Every Woman at age 8 realised that something was fundamentally wrong with that set-up. Before i could even voice my disapproval, a kiss landed smack on my lips! O_O. I skipped from that sitting room, ran into the bedroom and locked the door. I didn’t come out until i heard he’s left and of course, i didn’t tell really could’ve been a figment of my imagination.
It wasn’t the end. On days when he knew nobody would be at home except me, he’ll just show. I remember this day he knocked and knocked, on doors, on the windows, all the time saying, “I know you are in there” in such threatening manner, i was scared for my virginity. I laid down on the bathroom floor, as quiet as a drugged mouse and waited him out. Scary ass moment, i swear. I still didn’t tell nobody. Infact, if i was even thinking of telling my parents, he beat me to it. He told my mom i was possessed and needed deliverance. A couple of days later, my mom, with my best interest at heart, sent me off for deliverance...TO HIM!!!! Hahahahahaha!!!! Did i mention he was married? With kids? Oh yes, he was a “happily” married man and momma sent me to his flat for deliverance. I swear, i laughed so hard as i walked into his disrespectful of me. It was inevitable really, that i would have zero regard for a man who would stoop so low as to use the excuse of spiritual liberation to cop a feel of budding breasts, man of God or not!
...and this sudden show of insolence is what mothers should always be on the lookout for. When your girls that hitherto loved and respected some male family members or family friends starts distancing themselves from them or are just jumpy around them, please ask questions. It is important.
I also remember the morning we got the news that my cousin’s dad died. Mom was overwhelmed. She knew she had to go comfort her sister but she wanted to put her own house in order first. So she sent me ahead of her. I asked her for transport money and she told me i need not worry about it, that Uncle G was going my way. I swallowed the lump that suddenly gathered in my throat. My fear was not baseless. Half way through the journey, i quietly demanded to be dropped off in the middle of nowhere. O gini? I would rather walk the rest of the way than be subjected to them roving paws! And each time i moved to stop him, he would swat my hands away and irately demand to know why i was behaving like a small child.
This story is not unfamiliar. It happens to thousands of kids worldwide, everyday and they would hug the experience to themselves. Some are molested by their fathers; some their brothers or step fathers or uncles. The fact remains that 80% of this evil act is perpetrated by men these kids trust. Some of these kids would be lucky and escape with their hymens, health and psyche intact. Some others would not be so lucky. In my case, I refused to be intimidated. I was old enough to nip it in the bud before it could fester. Till date, Momma still doesn’t least i didn’t tell her.
 A mother should, therefore
v  Not wait until she is told or until she hears that her child has been molested before she moves to act.
v  Not be quick to judge if and when the daughter confides in her. She already blames herself...she doesn’t need confirmation of her supposed culpability from any other person least of all her mother.
v  Make herself easily accessible to her kids so they won’t ever hesitate to confide in her.
v  Watch out for the telltale signs. It’s always there {would blog them at a later date}
v  Most importantly, pray. Never ever underestimate the power of prayers, especially those said on the children’s behalf. If God does not watch a city, in vain do the watchers watch.
God help us all! Shout out to new followers...and those that faithfully comment. God bless your hustles, always...x