Letter To My Future Son-in-Law


Dear Future Son-in-Law, hey.
How are you doing? This is probably the first of the many letters you will be getting from me, your future mother-in-law. And it serves an entirely selfish purpose: To be fore-warned is to...well, come prepared.
Your future wife, my daughter Zi, is the strongest little girl i’ve met.  I’m sitting right here in the hospital, holding her as she shudders away the last of her tears and it occurred to me that you really should be aware of certain facts and happenstances, as early as possible, to guide your future actions.
Dear Future Son-in-Law, you see, this hospital trip was precipitated by a simple case of cough and catarrh. Only there wasn’t anything simple about Zi’s temperature that went from 37.2c to 40.1c in a matter of minutes. Its bad enough the temperature was alarmingly high but on her 10.5kg body [yea, she’s always being skinny and petite...cute tho], the damage doesn’t bear thinking. So, i inserted a rectal analgesic and we hightailed it to the hospital!
As sick as she was, she sat quietly through her vitals being taken by the nurses. She sat as the doctor listened to her chest, poked both ears and tortured her already inflamed tonsils with a stick. She sat through all these quietly. Dear Future SIL, you woulda understood and appreciated how much of a big deal this is if you had meet your brother in-law, Chets, as a little boy!
After examination, the course of action sounded simple enough. Blood tests, nebulise, suction, administer drugs, discharge. Only there wasn’t anything simple, AGAIN, about inserting a plastic wire into veins to take blood for the tests; nothing simple about hanging a nose mask on her face to nebulise with normal saline and definitely nothing simple about passing a tube through her nostrils to suck out phlegm.
She aced taking-the-blood process. In fact, she even assisted...which was amazing considering that we would’ve had to call the hospital security to hold him in place if it were your brother-in-law, Chets. Your wife, my daughter Zi, is a strong girl. Take note!
Nebulising her was a bit of a challenge. She didn’t want anything to do with the nose mask hanging round her head. She fought it! She cried and kicked but i held her down, with the mask firmly on her nose. She cried so...and i decided to remove the entire contraption from around her head and off her nose. I told her i loved her and that this was really for her own good! Your father-in-law, her daddy thought i had gone mad but guess what? As i made to put it back on, she took it from me and held it to her nose...and slept off, still holding it in place, to the sound of me singing “I Love Jesus...”. Allow me to remind you at this point that Mummy Knows Best! And here’s another insight: You gotta learn to negotiate with this daughter of mine. Force her to do something against her will, she’ll totally fight you!
And then came the suctioning. This was so heart breaking. As i watched them suction phlegm...and blood out of her nostrils, i knew it was imperative i wrote you this letter. That sh*t was scary for me. I could only imagine what it was like for her!
I had this day all planned out. I had this party to attend with your father-in-law and i’ve been prepping myself all week. I even got me a cute top from Elsie Vintage and i couldn’t wait to debut it today at the party. All these plans, i gave up so i can to be with my daughter, your wife in her time of need. Such sacrifice!
So lemme just put it out there: If after all these sacrifices i’ve made [and will continue to make] on her behalf...and ultimately yours too...you ever lift a finger against her or cause her any form of body harm, e don be for you. And i’m not even joking!
As the nurse removed the last of her infusions, she clambered down from my laps and declared, “Leggoooo!” Hilarious. She couldn’t wait to get out of the hospital. “E ya bag”, she reminded me. translated: see your bag. She didn’t want me forgetting anything that would require our having to come back to the hospital premise again. At the door as we made to leave, she paused, turned and walked back into the room straight to the drip stand, gave it a good kick, turned and walked back towards me! i had a good laugh. Your future wife, my daughter chooses her battles well. Of all that caused her pain today, the drip stand was what she had authority over and she very well exercised that power.
Dear Future Son-in-Law, I’d like to point out that through all these processes, it was ME she clung unto. Are you reading this? ME!!! She didn’t even let her papa near her. It was me that carried that 10.5kg weight for hours in the hospital. So in case of graft in the future, you should totally know which side of the bread needs buttering the most!
Her temperature is still spiking but she’s doing much better now, responding to the antibiotics. She’s cranky as heck tho. Hella irritated and crying up a storm every other minute, its exhausting. Will keep you posted. Oh? Of course you are welcome. Until i write again, toodles..xxx

22 comments:

LadyNgo said...

aw, well i hope the lil lady feels better soon. she sounds like a tough cookie though :P

bugo said...

eiyah! tough girl xxx

HoneyDame said...

LMAOOO>>Well done Hazel. The lord will crown all your efforts over your kids, husband, marriage, life and society with brilliant success.
Hope she gets back to her usual sef in a jiffy.

ms cookie said...

lol too cute. hope she feels better soon

Anonymous said...

Hope she gets well quickly.

Nice letter...lol

ngozi. Onyike said...

Lol! Dear SIL better take note cos this aint no joke? I know this your future mother in-law can do worse. Just keep ur hands to your side at all time you hear? Zizila, it's well with you dearie.

Jemima said...

what a great letter, hope the little diva is doing better, funny thing the exact same thing happened to my nephew this weekend!

Toinlicious said...

As serious as this is, i couldn't help laughing. I wish Zi abundant health. As for future SIL, it is well with your soul and a post is enough for the wise hehehehe

@Hazel, pele luv. This is one of the reasons why motherhood terrifies me.

RIO said...

Ok so I had tears in my eyes as I read this. My son is asthmatic and I know all too well the anxiety that goes with our rather frequent hospital visits. Oh but the nebulizer for us is the Rolly mo nose and we own one. When it gets really bad, my boy actually requests it. I am crying again. The strength of these little ones. Well done mum and bless the little angle.

Lili said...

Zi is really one tough chica. Don't worry luv when u start driving the car she buys u, this will b a very distant memory. Wish her speedy recovery.
xxx

Gbemisoke said...

Awwwww
Tugged at my heartstrings...
The pain we feel when our children are sick! You wish it would transfer to you so you can help them bear it.
I hope she feels better now
xxx

@ilola said...

Hmm, the sacrifices parents make for their children. Only God can reward you mothers.
Please, don't end up being an over-protective mother o

Ema Leecious said...

Glad to know she's feeling better!!!

Thank God for healing!

Myne Whitman said...

I laughed as I read this. I hope she's much better now sha.

Okeoghene said...

Aww she sure is a tough cookie. Get well soon Zi

aloted said...

kisses and hugs to Zi.

yes o future SIL needs to know how it is!

livelife said...

Cool blog.

Tams diary-livelife.blogspot.com

P.E.T. Projects said...

May the healing stripes of God bring her back to be feet! You've got a special daughter! God bless you both!

P.E.T. Projects said...

*her*

Coy~Introvert said...

Awww, hope she's alright now.

Tamie said...

Had a good laff reading this cos I kept on imagining a lil boy reading this(wonder what his tots wld be).
I ope the strong lil lady is berra.

Nice blog.

Chuwechuwe said...

Wow Hazel. I just love the way you write. This post reminded me of my mother in so many ways. I had quite a few epileptic seizures growing up and everytime I regained consciousness, confused and in an unfamiliar bed in the hospital, I would know one thing for certain: when I turned my head, my mum would be sleeping on that chair right next to my bed. Years later, even after she's gone, I remember it and it means everything to me. Similarly, Zi will remember and will love you always for being an amazing mum.