2010:The Year That Was

In another day, the year 2010 will officially be over. Just as every year comes with its challenges, rough patches and excitement, 2010 was no exception! Personally, 2010 was a good year! Don’t get me wrong…I had major challenges along the way but my blessings way outweighs my perceived lows. Here are a few of them:

My Highs

  • Chizitara Uloaku A.  a.k.a ‘Tara Bank A.! My major 2010 all time high, my pearl, my daughter! Born March 14, a few days after my own birthday, she’s just pure joy….a prayer answered, literally. I prayed for a girl for so many reasons but mostly because I already have a boy, a boy so energetic and so full of mischief I can barely keep up….my one-man squad!! Two of him would be an over-kill, trust me! Zi is just so stress less. Feed her and play with her for a bit and she’s good.
Zi....at five months
Princess Zi

My one-man squad Chets
  • Dunno whether this should be a high or a low…or maybe a combination of both but on the 24th of June, my husband was accosted by three armed hoodlums. Though his car and some personal effects (he practically lived in that car) were taken away, his life was not!! Ok…this is a high! Imagine me being a widow, with 2 kids, at this young age?! Tufiakwa!!!!

  • I finally took the bull by the horn and registered my company Beddings ‘n’ Beyond. I love a beautiful, well-put together interior….who doesn’t? But I’ve come to realize that most of us usually restrict the “prettiness” to our entertainment areas…the living rooms, lounges and kitchens. Beddings ‘n’ Beyond caters for the often neglected but ultra important boudoirs, transforming your space from dull and uninspiring to bright and exciting!! I kid you not….my sheets are simply beautiful and soothing to the skin (style meets comfort). A trial will convince you! Anyways, this year I succeeded in turning a hobby into a hobby that pays!!! Yay me!


  • I got my looooooooooong overdue promotion on the 24th of December. Isn’t God just amazing?

  • I am alive….and well. That’s a high in my book!

The next column was supposed to be for my low points in 2010 but to be honest, I can barely remember them….the euphoria of the successes eventually overshadows the pain of sufferings.

Altogether, it has been an awesome year. God has been simply wonderful to me, my family and my friends! My little sis gave birth to my super-cute nephew Kanye; and so did my bestie Bena to Adibs and Ryls to Brume. It was a baby-fest this year….the list is just long (enough birthday chops come 2011).




PoshBug and Sosa got their Msc in record time and have already landed cushy jobs...and in the UK to boot!! Isn’t God just too bunz?!

NwaBugo and Eseosa

2010 was a great year but guess worth, 2011 will be greater! Can I get an AMEN! Im not that much of a believer when it comes to New Year resolutions but im gonna try really hard to abide by my 2011 resolutions…

  • Acknowledge His presence more in my life
  • Make an effort and then some more, to shed my post-natal body fat
  • Make more time for my family especially my children
  • Push Beddings ‘n’ Beyonds to the next level
  • Own one or two pairs of Christian Louboutin shoes (c’mon…mommies deserve some toys too)
  • Drive a Range Rover Sport!!! (im in love with that car and before you scream, I didn’t say own one….just drive one, even if its for 20 minutes)
These would have to do for now.

A big Thank You to all of you that made my 2010 so exciting! Miranda and Sophie (I am always in their prayers); Foluke and Ryls (both of you tried to disown me once…not happening! Im stuck on y’all like a leech…lol); my Rx Divas C2, Ketchup, Rukkie, Chinee, Aisha and Bena; my homies Tana, Isoken, Erhi; my pint-size larger-than-life bff PoshBug and our smallie, Eseosa; my find of the year, Amaka Agu; nwanne m nwanyi Nwahdee and of course you! Yes....you, reading this post. Thank you all so much for being part of my life! 2011 is so going to be a year of multiples testimonies for every one of us!!


One Step....In the Right Direction!

The Night That Was……

Saturday the eleventh, I saw a movie at the cinema!!!!!! *notice the exclamation marks behind that one mundane statement* Im sure it begs the question “Why is this news?” Allow me to kowa-tiate!!
Once upon a time, I knew all the haute hangouts and clubs in Lagos. My anchor loves to party and I, as his always-equal-to-the-task partner was always at hand…..i loved to play dress up! Once upon a time, I could confidently rave alongside my friends, about new movies because I get to watch them immediately they hit the cinemas.
Enter Chets and Bank! (my kids) The responsibility of taking care of a family is unbelievably humongous. Like, you have to be in it to understand where i'm coming from. If you also happen to be a career mom (as most of us are), catching a breather sometimes, become almost impossible. I hail thee Superwoman, if you still have a social life with all these!

I’m well aware that my social life is almost non-existent. Between crazy work schedules, hospital runs, pre-school homework, nanny dramas and every day hustling, i count myself lucky if I get an eight-hour uninterrupted sleep/rest time. Sometime last week, while rummaging through my wardrobe, I came across a couple of party dresses I had bought a while back that are yet to be ‘premiered'. That chance happenstance made me realize how much i had missed dressing up (suits do not count) and hanging out with my friends. It was then it dawned on me that my social life was in a rot! I had to do something about it.

First on my list was going to the cinemas again. Now, that was first for so many reasons: I dont need an invite to go to the movies and i get to hone my fashion sense (I was seriuosly losing touch). Plus i can actually now offer informed opinions when it comes to movie reviews ( i usually just nod and say, "yea, nice movie").
Having decided on my first line of action, i pinged a few of my friends and asked if anyone was interested in seeing a movie....the plan being to kill two birds with one stone( i havent seen my girls in ages and i just wanted to hang with them). We were all really excited!

Myself, sporting last season's Double Chin by CK and my bestie Bena, looking fabulousa..as usual!

Few days to the day, Aisha begged off....she had to work on saturday (crazy work schedule claims its victim). Ketchup had a wedding she couldnt miss (bummer!).....and then there were three. Saturday morning, C2 called. Her kids were sick! (hope they are much better now). Thank God Bena did not bail on me (she always comes through for me). Phew, this year was so not going down as the year i did not step foot into a cinema!!!!!!

Cutting a long story short, i made it to the movies. I had no idea which movie it was we saw.....ooooh wait, i remember! It was Due Date. Anyways, i made it to the movies. I was hugely tired from all the errands i had ran earlier in the day but i was determined to check Going To The Cinema done in my to-do-list. We had fun but i sure missed not having the rest of the gang with us!

And so, ahead of the new year i make this resolution: Girls' Time/Night Out every once in a month! All these plenty work (without pay) and no play makes Mummy a grouchy/canterkerous "old" woman!

The Psychology of a "Go-Getter"


For want of what to name this post, I’ll go with the Psychology of a Go-Getter. The dictionary would define a go-getter as an enterprising person albeit an ambitious one. Another definition would be someone whose career progresses rapidly.
Yesterday, I asked a few of my friends what would be an appropriate name for that one person in the workplace/office that delights in putting others down, or magnifies trivial issues to the ears that matter just to advance in his/her career path. There were lots of laughs….then the names started coming in!!
Don’t get me wrong: I’m a firm believer in being ambitious, in working hard and in working smart to move up the ladder rapidly, career-wise. However, there are those colleagues that bring such negativity to the table, its amazeballs…..hence the parenthesis in my Go-Getter!
“Escalating to Escalate” was one name/phrase I got….very apt since escalating trivials is usually their modus operandum. “Boss” was another. But the name that tickled me sideways was “Y” people (if you work in Lagos and you’ve been a ‘victim’ or a friend to a ‘victim’, you’ll probably understand why that name made the list).
To be fair, this trait is not restricted to a particular geographical area, if feelers from friends in diaspora are anything to go by. Black, white, yellow, red....some people just want what they want and do not care who they step on to achieve the set goal.

Sometimes, I sit and wonder what philosophy influences the actions of these set of people. Is it born out of the need to survive by all means possible or are people just simply sadistic and diabolical? They work harder than any other but, the hard work is usually in the full view of the folks that matter (eye service comes to mind).The worst kinds though, are those who come under the guise of friendship but are usually the first to announce your incompetence, to whosoever cares to listen…..usually behind your back!!! (I'll rather an obvious enemy than a frenemy)
That every office has one of these “escalators” is a fact I have come to realize and to some extent, accept. Every office, without exception! In different forms, colours, races, ethnicity! In fact, I’m inclined to believe that they are part and parcel of the dynamics of the work environment. Truth be told, some of them are usually helpful when you find yourself in a bind that involves the top brass….all that escalation and tattling endears them to the people that matter.

Genuine hard work should be commended and rewarded. However, nobody is above mistakes. In fact, without mistakes, there is no learning. I'm yet to see or hear of that person that has knowledge of everything. Preying on the mistakes of colleagues or capitalising on the weaknesses of others to advance oneself, is just wrong. Everybody has a "y" in them......c'mon, we are human, eternally selfish; the trait just stays dormant in some! And so, an occasional self-analysis, not unlike stock-taking, becomes a necessary tool!

Be wary of the toes stepped on today....they might be attached to the feet that could require licking tomorrow.

Spread Love!!!!!

To The One I Call Love: Happy Birthday, Boo!

In the early afternoon of June 24 this year, i had just finished this argument over the phone with him. In anger and frustration at how bull-headed and stubborn one man could be, i had "announced" to my colleagues and whoever cared to listen that my husband was for sale! i was still spoiling for a fight even as i heard his car pull in that fateful evening. 

Then came the knock, a few minutes later, that informed me that my husband, the very one i was ready to "sell", had been accosted and taken away by three armed men just as he was alighting from his car. 
For a few minutes, i didn't quite understand what i just heard. When i did, i collapsed....literally! At that moment, and for a few hours until my husband came home, i experienced a miniscle of a widow's thought process.....its not pretty! The anxiety, the uncertainties, the fear, but mostly, the regrets ( i should've not argued with him; i should've told him i loved him......)            

And so, today on his birthday, i just want to remind him how much i love him and to appreciate him. He may be stubborn and strong-willed in a way that gets my goat sometimes, but he is my husband, the sweetest guy i know, generous to a fault. He loves in a way no other has (well, except God)! He is also an amazing father.

To my boo, my signed-sealed-delivered-all-mine hubby, the father of my children, my rock, my pillar of strength, my friend, my gossip-partner, my FS, i say HAPPY BIRTHDAY. My prayer for you today: No plans of your enemies shall ever find you...not even remotely; you will always remain a person of reckon amongst your peers and may God continue to bless and protect you. It is, and will continue to be well with you....


Appendicitis in Pregnancy

Until recently, i had never heard of appendicitis in pregnancy! Fibroid in pregancy, i'm well aware of.....heck, i even nurtured one alongside my last pregnancy. Pica, pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure accompanied by protein in urine), backaches, swollen ankles, painful wrists....i am aware of all these occurences in pregnacy. But, appendicities????!

A friend just recently found out she was pregnant and so, when she started with the usual vomitting, we all chucked it up to early morning sickness. Her vomitting episodes were, however, unusually "violent"..... and energy-sapping and half the time, i would find her sagging on a chair like a rejected wet rag, tired and weepy. I would give her pep talks ( she always sounded so defeated), encourage her to speak to her body....generally trying to help her through this phase of her pregnancy. And then, this fateful day, she couldnt stand up from where she was seated and had to be rushed to the hospital.

Diagnosis: Appendicitis
I remembered my first reaction was "WHAT??!". How does one start managing appendicitis in a first trimester pregnancy? I also remember wondering "Why now?". I was anxious for her because i had no idea what would be the best way to manage the inflammation. Would the doctors operate? Should they operate? Would the surgery affect the baby? What happens to the wound when the stomach enlarges to accomodate the growing baby? All these questions bothered me, hours unending. So, i did a bit of research....my findings put my fears to rest.

Appendicitis in pregnancy is a relatively common phenomenon....1 in every 1000 pregnancy. There's usually a delay in diagnosis because most of the complaints asociated with this inflammation (nausea, vomitting and abdminal pains) are typically blamed on the pregnancy. However, when discovered, operation is advised with both the attending gynaecologist and surgeon in agreement. Current believe is that it is better to surgically remove a normal appendix in suspected appendicities in pregnancy than to allow complications occur because of not operating. Prompt surgical procedure is key to saving the lives of both mother and child.

Where pregnancy is still at the early stage, progesterone can be given to preserve the pregnancy. There should, however, be minimal handling of the uterus during operation.

So, if you are pregnant and having symptoms that you suspect might be appendicitis, do visit you doctor and attempt to verify your suspicions. Once confirmed, having an operation to remove it would be the wise route to go....if that is what your doctor advises. If not, get a second opinion.

Aby, my prayers are with you. Get well soon......x

World's AIDS Day a la Hollywood


To mark this year's World's AIDS Day, a few of my favorite celebrities sacrificed their digital lives for charity. Translation: No Twitter or Facebook presence until a collective sum of 1,000,000 USD is raised for Keep A Child Alive, a charity organization dedicated to fighting the virus in Africa and other parts of the world where anti-retroviral medications and treatment is not readily available.

Alicia Keys, co-founder and Global Ambassador of KCA, reality star sisters Kim Kardasian and Khloe Kardashian Odom, Ryan Seacrest, Serena Williams, Elijah Woods, Lady Gaga, to mention but a few, all "died" today on Twitter and Facebook and would remain "dead" until the purported sum has been raised for charity. How long this will exercise take? Your guess is as good as mine ($1m is a sh*tload of money) but with big guns like Lady Gaga and likes, it shouldnt tarry! More celebrities are definitely going to sign on.....Diddy will be "dead" tomorrow!!!

This would not be the first time celebrities are cashing in on the wide reach of social networking portals to raise funds for charity. Just a few months back, my favorite Desperate Housewife, Eva Longoria organised a celebrity aution on Twitter. Tweethearts were encourage to bid for their favourite celebrities....winning bids get a follow and/or a retweet! The proceeds were channeled towards building schools for Haiti. Commendable!

Visit www.buylife.org and www.keepachildalive.com for further information. If you are inclined to, do make a donation. SAVE A LIFE.
Photos are courtsey of Buy Life.