Not Simple, Yet It Is

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The dissimilarity between a man and a woman is so much more than the “wo” in woman. I’ve always known this but on this day, with every tear shed in confusion by this friend, I’m reminded again! The difference dates back, as far as childhood.

You see, girls love to nurture. Boys, on the other hand, cannot be bothered. Where you see a little girl having a heart to heart with her doll, hosting a tea party or making eba and soup from sand and wild leaves, the boy is busy hunting down clueless, innocent lizards with his catapult. Lizards don’t need tête-à-têtes and really, what can compare to the thrill of hunting? Certainly not coo-ing to “stupid” dolls!

The difference persists into and probably through teen years. While the girl has her face buried in her Mills & Boon, trying and possibly succeeding to conjure and communicate with her future dream husband, the boy is busy fapping car keys from busy and unsuspecting parents, studying Nackson the Nacker and keeping scores of babes “nacked”, real or imagined! The thrill…
As young adults tho, the dissimilarity diminishes. With no lizards to hunt and no inclination to do so really (not unless he relishes being called a retard), the guy has got ample time to really think about wooing the opposite sex. By now, he has watched Titanic and Serendipity a few times and so he’s catching up, quite nicely, on how to be romantic. Also, he’s making money now with little or no responsibility other than spoiling you stinkers. So cozy dinners, nights out, flowers, gifts & presents, holidays are pretty much a norm. This is the type of love a woman loves. And this is where she begins to sing:

It shall be permanent… {2x}
What the Lord has done for me…
It shall be permanent.
And then it becomes permanent, the kind that says, “...until death do us part!”

Cuter Than A Button

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Have you seen a cuter 3-day old baby?
My baby sister @Labelleace “took delivery” of this precious little Princess {with a capital P} on the 7th of January! I cannot believe Belle is now a mother of 2!!

 
Look at her...Danica a.k.a D2. Feels like i've know this child forever. Belle and i couldn't wait for her to get here. She took her sweet time. Diva! 
 
Winking at the camera? Excuse me but these kids start early! What does a 3-day old know about smiling for the camera?! Love her. 
 ...and she looks exactly like me. Nobody is gonna convince me otherwise.
Congratulations, sister mine! God continue to bless you and yours...and give you the strength and grace to contend with their antics, both D1 and D2. Best be saying a stronger "Amen" on the strength part of that prayer! Chets and Zi are no different from Tom and Jerry! So exhausting!
 
Belle blogs at Belle's Kitchen. Where she finds the energy, i'll never know. Superwoman, my baby sister!
 

Tickled or Teaching?

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It has become some sort of an early morning routine with them, my son and his father. Once the hubby is up, he calls for Chets to fetch him drinking water. Some days especially when he's angling for the iPad, Chets doesn't waste time fetching the drinking water. Other days, though quite rare, he’ll throw a “Daddy, why are you always lying down and sending me to get water? Eeeeeeeevery morning...” or “I’m tired too...” at his father and then grudgingly skip off to get the water. As punishment though, he’ll drink half of the water, slurp some more all over the floor and then present the rest to his thirsty father. The poor man eventually gets less than a quarter-full glass of water! Whichever way his mood swings or his day starts, one thing was constant: Chets always fetches the water. iPad is still the endgame.

This particular morning though, he balked. Like, he said “No Daddy, I AM TIRED!!!”. Can’t say I blame him; I know exactly how he felt. You know how it is when you have to wake up real early to get ready for school (in Cheta’s case) or to get ready for an early morning meeting (in my case) and someone else is well ensconced in their duvet, watching TV cos their job encourages working remote? It can pain. Infact, it pains extra when they now send you on errands from the delish comforts of their duvet cos hey, you are already up and about. Tres painful.
Anyways, I’m guessing that’s how Chets felt this morning. I guess I understood. But this was not about understanding. This was about parenting. I was not raised to say “No, I won’t do it; I am too tired” to my father when he sends me on errands. Your mama born you well so? My daddy will slap you into next week! So mba, I was not raised to say no to, or even query orders errands from the parents. And, I wasn't about to piss on that family tradition and cue lamentations every Sunday in church on account of my kids, on top disobedience mata. No way, Jose! I need to be able to send my kids on errand and they need to be able to cheerfully oblige.

Beaten But Not Broken

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He was in a really foul mood, i could tell. Fouler than usual. His murderous countenance, the slammed door and that bark in response to the kids excited “Daddy!!!” were dead giveaways. One look at his face and i had Semilore my eldest, take Nimi to their room, praying silently and fervently that tonight would not be one of those nights. Quick as i could, considering how heavily pregnant i was, i shuffled into the kitchen to get his food. I wasn’t going to give him a reason to make me the end user of his wrath.
After I’ve served his meal at the table, i went to call him. He grunted a “Bring it to me!” Thankful for at least a feedback even if it was a grunt, i went to fetch his tray from the dining room. I was preoccupied with rending a song of gratitude albeit inaudibly, to the forces-that-be for averting tonight’s drama when my leg hit the edge of the bed and i nearly fell. In trying to regain my balance, the glass of water i had put on the tray fell and splashed...on the bed but mostly on him!

Before i got married, I had a list of what i wanted in a man. A hot temper was not one of them but my husband, he scored a whooping 9 out of my 12 wants on that list. I figured i could deal with the hot temper. After all, everyone who’s been on the receiving end of his temper deserved it...sort of! I figured wrong!

I knew he was in a really foul mood that night; i just didn’t how bad he’s got it. No sooner had i opened my mouth to apologise, than he landed the mother lode of slaps on my right cheek! I SAW STARS, literally. The tray of food i was carrying slipped from my hands, emptying its contents all over the floor. Impaired vision would fetch same reaction from even the strongest. That night wasn’t one of those nights. That night was THE NIGHT! He beat me until i felt my water break. My God. Even then, he didn’t stop until he noticed i was doubled over in excrutiating pain, hugging my pregnancy. I don’t remember much after that. I think i passed out. I heard i was out of it for two days. When i woke, a beautiful baby girl was put in my bruised arms. My daughter. My third child for this man i loved...and i had no recollection of birthing her. He stole that from me.

I should hate him with all of my heart but i couldn’t. I was bitter, yes but i couldn’t hate him. Not when he was standing there by my bedside, eyes glittering with unshed tears, pleading for my forgiveness and pledging his undying love. I forgave him.  Why wouldn’t i? He is my husband and I love him. Nobody had it all. Nobody needs to know what he did. It was our business and my shame to bear. Moreover, we were reasonably happy...
...until that late night, two months later.

Twice The Heartbreak

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I saw this on Facebook the other day. It had me in stitches but it also reminded me of how different the men folk are really from the womenfolk. Read, enjoy!

********
Dear John,
I hope you can help me. The other day, i set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car stalled, and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and i had to walk back to get my husband’s help. When i got home, i couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour’s daughter. I am 32; my husband is 34 and the neighbour’s daughter is 19. We’ve been married for about 10 years. When i confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they’ve been having an affair for the past six months. He won’t go for counselling and i’m afraid i am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help?
Sincerely, Sheila.

Dear Sheila,
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with theengine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If its clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pumps itself is causing low delivery pressure to the injectors. I hope this helps.

John.
*******

If i were Sheila, John is yesterday’s news. LMAO! Heart broken twice; first by a cheating husband and then by a clueless stranger! Men, truly from Mars!
XOXO...

Happy New Year!

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2013 is here!!!

My goodness, we lived to see this day. My heart is full of thanksgiving!
2012 was so full of ups and downs, laughter, tears, uncertainties. But God, He saw us through it all!
2013 comes with fresh hope, for a better future and success, another oppurtunity to live our dreams...
We will face challenges but we will face it with confidence, the confidence that we will  suceed because God's got our backs.
Happy New Year, Loves.

XOXO