Between Dreams and Dust

The idea of squatting her wasn’t as abhorrent as I feared in retrospect. Heck, I suggested it but then, my mouth has been known to run ahead of my head on occasion. The brain needed more than a few moments to process the suggestion the mouth just spewed and it came up with a few arguments in its favour...

While I am borderline OCD and kinda guard my space jealously, I’ve known her for a year and she’s as cool as they come. Nearly as OCDious as I am {if not more sef}, she was one of the coo’ kids and frankly, my social status did not grudge the rub-off. However, what sealed this arrangement {and made it as attractive as I could convince my brain} was the thought of my easy access to a steady supply of premium soaks, also known as Ijebu garri. Jolo’s stock was legend!

When she first complained about her eyesight that was suddenly going south bad, we just thought it must be the soaks and suggested that she cut back on garri drinking. But then, the sudden poor eyesight became black outs, and with them came truly blinding headaches. Again, we had an explanation for this: it was time she embraced her family’s spectacle-wearing destiny. Genes can only wait for so long...

What “it” actually was knocked us for six and with the diagnosis came a rapid downward spiral that is the very essence of nightmares. Truly unbelievable. Brain tumor. In a matter of weeks, her eyesight was gone. Her health was deteriorating so fast there was urgent need to get her medical treatment outside the country. I had just left the VC’s office to makes copies of the documents her family needed for the travel when I got the call. It was her brother. We both spoke at once...

In a Space of Panic


She’s been firing all kinds of questions at me, a mile a minute, most of which i had no answer to cos i could barely hear them. From my mutters and hmmmms and meaningless hand movements, she must’ve guessed i was tired! Exhausted would be the word. I had had the most hectic day ever!

“You tired, Mummy?”
“Yes, baby...”
“I go outside and play with my brother?”
“Yes, baby!” Relief!
I must’ve been reaaaallly tired cos I never let them play outside. But within minutes, i heard her happy voice cackle in excitement and i relaxed. She’s happy; I’ve been blissfully left alone...all is well in my world. I drifted off to sleep!

It would be a few minutes before it registered that i wasn’t hearing her laughs anymore. Maybe they came back inside, i thought. I made to settle back into that restful sleep but something niggled. And so i stood and peeped outside. No daughter. Just the brother playing with a couple more friends and the househelp standing a distance back, fiddling with her phone.

“Where’s Zi?”, I called out.
The help started. “She’s h... she was...”
...gone. Zi was nowhere!
At first, i wasn’t panicked. Ok, maybe just a little. She’s the really outgoing child, friendly to a fault. Cute trait sometimes, but not and now. What if she had willingly followed a kidnapper out? Hush, i chided myself. Can’t be bringing negative energy this early in the game. However, as the evening gave way to night, the whole neighbourhood searched with a fine comb and no Zi, i hit rock bottom!

"...Hey God, You're Up!"

This has been a long time coming and I'm glad the wait is finally over! It has been CRAZY. Nothing-else-matters-but-getting-this-done kinda crazy but hey, look how totally worthy this project is!

Yep, my brand Beddings 'n' Beyond has got a spanking new home. New design, user friendly e-commerce webstore! As a Beddings ‘n’ Beyond Customer, you will be able to:

Personalize your shopping experience with user logins.
View products online, place a direct order and check out.
Live Chat if you need any assistance during your shopping experience.
Access our nationwide delivery service.
The website is easy to navigate, accessible and interactive.

Beddings ‘n’ Beyond is your one stop shop for everything in your home; providing comfortable and stylish beddings, bath and home accessories which complement our furniture range all geared to meet your needsall at your fingertips. The e-commerce website will serve to meet our customers who lead busy lifestyles; making your convenience our priority.

Excited yet? Wait…

For every purchase above N35,000 there will be a free Fashion Towel thrown in! The Fashion Towels are priced from N5,500 to N8,100. So yea, you are getting an amazing deal! See you soon?
Please visit our social media and show some love. Like, Follow, Share, Tell a Friend!

And now, lets get back to the business of blogging! I've missed my #BlogFam. #LettingGoLettingGod


When Siblings Abuse Siblings


My kids bicker a lot.
The small one does not know she's small, forever bullying her brother. Even though the boy recognizes the fact that she's younger, when he cannot bear the “bullying” and the almost eely way she slides out of getting punished for her pranks, he lashes out. In form of knocks or any convenient part of Zi's body!

My kids fight a lot.
Now, it’s easy to pass this behaviour off as childish exuberance but with what is going on in the world these days, I chose to know better. Like Sisi Yemmie said, “Na from clap these things dey take enter dance.
For every time Chets hits Zi, whether justifiable or not, he gets punished. When asked why he's punished, he would reply “Because I hit my sister.” And why is that wrong, I would ask. And he would reply, “I am not supposed to hit any girl or lady or woman.”
He didn't get this logic initially. How does he get wronged and get punished for being wronged? But he's beginning to get it now. Especially when the Hubs asks, “Have you ever seen me beat/slap/hit your mom?” to which he answers, “All you people do is Kiss! Yuck!”

My kids are 6 & 3 respectively.
With all these bickers and fights, you can NEVER doubt for one moment, the love or bond between my duo. Never. Nobody says so much as an ugly word to Zi, especially in school... Do they not know her elder brother is Chetanna A?!!! He is that protective of her. And you cannot punish him unduly without Zi whining you to hell and back...
That's what siblings are about. Love, Fight, Tolerance, Make up, Love!

So when I got this chat from this young friend of mine, my first question was “How old are these siblings?” My second question was “Are they blood siblings?”. Cos this is so weird. When I got the full story from this child that couldn't stop crying long enough to make sense, I sat down and cried! Usually soft-spoken and just a joy to listen to, her cries this morning ripped at me!

This is sooooo wrong! So wrong! How long has this been going on? And what usually provokes him?

I don't know what to do today. It’s my brother and me. I barely have the strength to walk. This has been going on since I’ve known him. I’ve always been in boarding house, then University so it happens on mostly holidays, when he's not in school as well. Today, I barely said a word to him. I wish I knew what I did to provoke him. Just yesterday, he smashed the DVD in my room because I removed his movie (that refused to play) and put in mine. This beating is like an everyday thing.

I've always been pointing this behaviour out to my Mum. Always! All she keeps saying is “He's your elder brother.” Until lately, some months back. I lent him my laptop. He promised to bring it back in March. He brought it just last month and everything was wrong with it. When I complained, he beat me. That's just when my mom started seeing all that I'd been saying for years. Just last month!!!!

I don't know what my brother studied in school. How would I? How can I have a relationship with this kind of person? I forget I have a brother; it’s that bad. I have all sorts of scars on my body. Old scars from him. Normally he uses belts, flower vases, shoes, all sorts to beat me. And then, he bites me as well. All my mom keeps saying is “Two wrongs don't make a right!”

Scarred: Enough or Too Much?

Every morning for as long as I can remember, prepping Chets for school never fails to live up to herculean reputation! He’s such a diva its unbelievably annoying! And he tests out his diva-ness on the helps. Always! To the very last of their patience.

“No, don't touch my head like that!”
“Mummy, Ifunnaya is bending my head backwards!”
“Ifunnaya, leave alone I want to bathe myself!”
“Why did you push me? Now my leg is bleeding. Mummy, Ifunnaya has cut my legs o!”
“Oooooooh, this water is now cold!”
“Mummy, I have not finished my home work oo!”
“Ifunnaya, leave me alooooooooooone! I can dress myself!”

{This was their exact same reaction when i showed them the picture of a burning body. Would teach them to stop playing with fuel and generator. But i digress...}
Photo Credit: Google
It goes on and on. I always listen in with one ear as I get ready for work and sometimes when I can’t deal with silliness anymore, I go meet him at the bath with Mr Cane in tow.
Since I always drop them off at school on my way to work, some days, I always threaten to leave him at home and take only Zi to school. But not going to school is not a get-out-of-jail free card. I make sure to promise that if school was not attended for a day because of tardiness, cane must touch body. 10 times.

The thing with kids is this: if you threaten/promise to do something to/for them long enough and you renege on all occasions, your word won’t count for shit where they are concerned. I had made this particular threat for so long but for each time I threaten, his father pleads on his behalf and hustles him off to the car.

Today started as usual.
Today, I made my “promise” as usual.
Today, he thought it was business as usual.
Today is #Day5 of my #JuiceFast.
Today, I didn't sleep a wink because his sister was crying from earache all night.
Today, the combination of hunger and lack of sleep was doing me in.
Today, his father left the house at the crack of dawn.
Today, I got into my car and left him...with Zi wailing, “Mummy, please don't leave my bwother!”

Journey To Sexy: Day 2

Day 2 of 7...

Still standing...barely.
I kinda woke up feeling weak hollow, not unlike how i felt when Chets vacated my womb. I guess the one-hour Zumba dance session of last night didn’t go down well with the body. But the weakness IS inconsequential, considering that i heard God speak to me in a dream, in my dream! Yep! I had a dream, in my dream! Two sets of dreams running concurrently. Confused? I was too. Like, the voice was clear. The word was clearer. I even saw a figure...67.1kg. Guys, i’m not even joking! Why would i come up with a queer figure like that? But seeing as my ideal weight should be 68kg, I BELIEVE. Call it hallucinations, blame it on hunger...I. STILL. BELIEVE! Woke up and said a big AMEN! If God be for you, e don be for your detractors! Brume, this sub is for you!

Anyways, i thought today was gonna end in a cry-fest. I usually cry myself to sleep on Day 2. This one didn’t. Got a bit woozy at about 3pm but the mind is a powerful weapon!

Breakfast - Ugu Juice
Lunch – Grape Juice
Dinner – Carrot + Tomato Juice
In-Between Meal Snack – I nearly drowned myself with 3L of water!

Because i was too lazy to ask Google how to go about juicing vegetables, especially our local veggies, i went ahead and asked my Philips Juicer Instruction manual.

How I Juiced my Ugu...
I cut the vegetable into tiny chunks and placed inside a smoothie blender...
Next, i squeezed in some lime/lemon juice into the blender. The more the merrier really...
I then added ginger to spice up the drink; threw in ice cubes for good measure...
I blended the mix to some extent, poured the entire mix into the juicer and taa-daaaaaa...
Ugu juice is ready!

I'm sure there are so many other EASIER ways to do this juuicing thingie. Y'all help a sister if you know any of those.
I barely have the strength to type out my next thought. Heck, i can’t even remember what i want to type. I just gonna say Toodles now and hope this post makes a smidgen of sense.
Sha Follow on Twitter @Zitera


Journey To Sexy: Day 1


It seems like i’ve been on this since forever. Sometimes, i’m committed to it. Some other times, i can’t be bothered. I would start a 3-day detox program and half-way through it, i’ll jump ship. No energy but mostly no incentive. The last time i was this committed to losing weight, i lost 9kg. October, 2012. There was no incentive, except i could feel my obesity weighing me down.

It has to be said. Really, it has to be said. Food is a SWEET deal! But as sweet as it is, it cannot top money in my books. And there-in lie the incentive for this current weight loss stint. The hubby thinks i cannot lose another 10kg in 3 months. I think i can lick it 2 months. The rules are simple:

·         If after the final weigh-in i’m 0.1kg shy of 10kg, he collects my cheque.

·         If however i max 10kg or above, he credits me double the amount.

Inspired much!
I’m already spending that money in advance...that’s how confident i am. I love a good dare!

Day 1- Started on a 7-Day Juice

Breakfast – Watermelon Juice.
Lunch – Watermelon + Mango Juice
Dinner – Ugu Juice with a dash of ginger and lemon.
I honestly thought i would hate that ugu juice thingie. Wonders, i loved it. Like totally. I’ve had to tell my stomach there’s no point growling & complaining... Food will not be had until day 8. It seems not to mind so much though. I wasn’t as dizzy as i thought i’ll be. Energy didn’t wane much. Like, i had enough to fit in an hour of Zumba dancing, with my smiles still intact. I doubt i’ll be smiling much tomorrow.

Aside the 12 trips to the restroom to return the 4+ litres of liquid i drank all day, and the really mean duo of SB and Olaedo who sent me pictures of their respective lunch just about the time my hunger was peaking, i’ll say Day 1 went just fine!

The universe didn’t deem it fit to take away a miserly 0.3kg and make it a nice cohesive figure like 79.9kg, which sounds and feels way better than 80.2kg. Yea, 80.2kg is our start-off. I just want my jigida to sit properly on the tummy. Is that too much to ask?

Follow on Twitter @Zitera


Chiviva Mid-Season Open Door Sales


Calling on all hair lovers, Chiviva Hair is at it again!
Our mid season open door sales is here! And with after sales maintenance too!

The lustrous Boom Curls
Date: June 1st, 2013

Venue: Silver Bird Galleria (Ground floor)

Time: 10am

Be on time and get yourself the most stylish hair trend of the season.

See More Pictures after the cut...

Never Say Never, Really

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
~ Edgar W. Howe

Photo Credit: Google

I had gone to the Immigrations Office at Aba Road in PH to get the International Passport I applied for the week before. I was 23.
While I was waiting my turn, I couldn't help but notice this woman struggling to get her 4-year-old son to sit still and just generally shut it. I know; I asked his age. The boy had thrown all sorts of tantrum including hurling himself on the floor; his mother just ignored him. As if that enraged him even more, he started insulting his mother. “Stupid Mummy, wicked mummy, coconut head...”. It went on and on! This well dressed woman, hair intact, nails neatly manicured, turned, looked at her offspring and said, “Junior*, behave yourself or I’m gonna smack you!”. The boy’s response? He literally flew from the floor and gave his mother a resounding slap on the cheek. If people ignored the tantrums initially, they all took notice after the slap. Everybody started talking at once. Me, I just quietly shook my head in disgust and continued fiddling with my phone. Mannerless child! Incompetent mother! Why women would not give their little kids basic home training was beyond me. I mean, how hard could it be getting a child to know who’s boss and who’s in charge? I would never be this mom. I don't see my child behaving like this. I had a plan in place!

A Sell-out, The Heart


“When you really care about someone, their mistakes never change how you feel about them. It is the mind that gets angry; the heart still cares.” ~ Anonymous

I had a totally different post for today but as soon as i saw this quote on a friend’s dp, the inspiration for the planned post flew out of the window. You can’t even begin to realize how true the above quote is. Took me back 7 years.

I remember it like yesterday, the Friday before my bestie’s traditional wedding far back in ‘06. It was the soon-to-be-hubby’s birthday. I had no idea what caused the rift from the night before. Seemed like those days, every- and anything was a bone of contention between us. I hadn't learnt to say “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me” and he, he didn't even know what “I was wrong” meant; never mind about “I am sorry”. That would be me asking for too much really. Hot heads, both of us. Quite passionate about our own opinions...and we guarded them jealously.

Whatever the bone of contention was from the night before must’ve been really heavy though, cos we slept on the same darn bed {with the space in between us as wide as that highway Moses constructed smack in the middle of River Nile, atink}, woke and resumed scowling at each other. I was soooooo angry I forgot refused to say Happy Birthday. Angrier when he left for work without so much as asking how I was gonna get to the airport for my 11:50 to Owerri. Angriest because this would be our last time together until our own traditional wedding barely two weeks later. Who gives his wife-to-be the silent treatment in view of all these?

House-Help Chronicles ~ Here We Go Again!


“Follow your instincts. That’s where true wisdom manifests itself” ~ Oprah Winfrey

Sometime mid March, my house help (who was beyond amazing, by the way) told me she wanted to go and visit her people. She said her mother had summoned all her kids, both home and abroad, for family prayers. Now, if you know how “busy” and “creative” these “people from the village” can be, you’ll understand the need for these family prayers every once in a while. After all, we really do not wrestle against flesh and blood!

Normally, I would feel my poor heart thumping away in panic as soon as I hear “Mummy, I want to travel and see my people”. These things can soooooo destabilize one, especially if your working hours ain’t flexible. For some reason tho, her's just made me smile that quiet I-was-not-born-yesterday type smile. This move I’ve sorta been expecting because lately, she's been less that her usual cheerful self...and to be fair, she hasn't been to see her people in the one year she has stayed with me. Maybe a change of environ will do her...and ultimately me...a world of good.

The panic began to creep in ever so stealthily when, after her approved week long holiday I was yet to see or hear from my trusted help. Hunting and breaking in new domestic staff, especially house helps is one chore I absolutely dread.

I sent out feelers to all and sundry. The search was on! After I interviewed the first couple of helps sent my way, I began to despair. The first could not string together a sentence in English to save her life; the other was referred to me by my neighbour’s house help....story for another day.

My joy when I got the BBM chat that said, “Olee gi? Found someone for you o. She took care of these kids I know. She may sha want like 30k or so” was immeasurable. When I called the someone found for me, I didn't even bother with interviewing her. I went from "Hey, how are you?" to "Pack your things and start coming to my house." What was I interviewing her for? My friend would never steer me wrong. More so, I know this help’s sister and in my opinion, Ghana house helps no too dey suffer from local weyrey like their Nigerian counterparts.

I was beyond relieved when Naomi* {the help} called to say she was in my house. Thank God for friends that always look out for you! I got home that evening to finally meet the voice I've been speaking to on the phone. Matured, respectful, pleasant and playful with the kids, what more could a girl ask for? I mouthed a quick thanks heavenwards and subtly pulled my sister to the corner!

I Made Bank!


I made bank...literally.
This time three years ago, the Hubs was asking where my faith was. He couldn’t understand why i wasn't mostly thankful for safe delivery and for the birth of a healthy baby. I was thankful for safe delivery, thankful for my ‘ada’ but i need only to remember that i have been discharged  since the 15th and that my really tiny, tomato-red baby was still on admission and i’m bursting into fresh tears. I knew yellow skin meant jaundice. Red skin was what floored me. When i heard lupus erythematosus being bandied around by the doctors, i knew it was time to re-negotiate with God.

The Hubs said she would pull through. Her attending doctor said she was a fighter. Three years later, i believe them. Introducing ’Zitera Uloaku at 3. Industry name ~ Zizi Banks. I told y’all i made bank. Haha.

Managing Sensitive Skin in Babies

Does your baby have sensitive skin? From years of practice as a pharmacist, I have come across a lot of mothers with babies that have sensitive skin (as most babies seem to do these days) with little or no idea on how to handle it.

Babies with sensitive skin tend to break out with rashes very often. They also have dry, itchy skin and might seem to cry very often. Babies with more severe forms of skin sensitivity might experience drying out, especially around the joint areas. There are simple tips to help enhance your baby's comfort, while you patiently wait for them to outgrow it, because they most likely will.

Helpful tips?

Avoid medicated powders. They are usually too harsh for the skin. Powders generally can encourage drying out of the skin and itching. Instead, use fragrance free products like fragrance free jellies, wipes, etc. They are milder to the skin.
Use mild soaps and moisturizers (eg Cetaphil, E45, Oilatum, Aveeno, Sebamed). Shea butter is also great for sensitive skin.
Try lactose-free formulas. Lactose can predispose to sensitive skin.
Check the labels of supplements and food they eat. Some might contain potential allergens like oil from nuts. A good example is Abidec, which contains arachis oil and might enhance sensitivity.
Dress your baby in cotton clothes; they are usually more comfortable in them.
Watch your baby's bathing routine. Bath with warm water. You could also add bath oils and apply moisturizers on damp skin to enhance absorption. Try not to use these tube skin creams. They may appear to get the job done but they merely suppress the rashes which will still show up again. These creams contain steroids which aren't too advisable for children, unless the use is being monitored by a health professional.

{Written by Chinekwu Oreh of Rafar Pharmacare LTD}

Of Disagreeable Decisions and Dire Consequences

So I was going through work images on my lappy {I really should fix up and give her a name...} and came across these pictures my hubby took of me last weekend. And for the life of me, I could not fathom how come these pictures aren’t on my blog yet. I mean, the one picture I look like a human being should be #ontheblog the minute it passes muster, right? So my “enemies”...tihehe...go know say i don dey try!

Slit of Life!!

To today’s post tho...

Coming back to Lagos on Sunday, we had this taxi pick us up from the hotel to the airport. Now, why a hotel like the one we stayed in does not have its own airport shuttle arrangement is beyond me. Chic-from-Lasgidi like me, with hubby in tow, was now subjected to getting the piece of crap on wheels that we got. Now, if you had to ask if it had air-conditioning, then i might not have described this taxi very well. I couldn’t wait to get to the airport to weigh myself; pretty sure i was gonna be 2kg lighter on account of that sauna session from the hotel to the airport! Someone shoulda told us PH cab men didn’t joke with Sunday church service!

Anyways, there i was melting away in the backseat of this cab when i sighted the airport toll gate. I’d never been happier to see one before. Really, the powers that be should think of moving PH town closer to the airport! This journey {took almost 30mins} from the pit was about to end. Anyways, i was happy not just because of the heat. Nah. During the course of the drive, we realized our cab man shoulda been one of those in church. Dunno if it was his driving skills or his very reluctant-to-serve car or both but something needed prayers! I mean, we nearly hit a stationary Prado jeep that was minding its business by the side of the road. But i digress...

The Inspired Mom ~ Candy Agu at 40!


My first guest on the Inspired Mom series is the delectable Candy Agu. Wife to a serving State Commissioner and mother to two adorable dudes, 13 and 10 respectively, Candy is the face and muscle behind the award-winning party souvenirs and corporate gifts outfit Party In A Box Limited. She’s especially first on this series because today, March 15, is her birthday. This early-twenties-looking lady is 40 years old today! WOW!!

The Inspired Mom Series


"The most important job in the world isn't being a CEO. The most important job in the world is being a MOM!"

That a lot of 21st century career moms, myself included, struggle with balancing the work-business-family equation is a fact that will remain undisputed for a long time. Some women, however, juggle all these balls that they have to without dropping any....and still come out smelling like Womanity by Thierry Mugler!

The Inspired Mom series on this blog would feature women who has inspired me...and are still inspiring me to do better than I already am! Young, old or in-between, there's still a thing or ten to be learnt from the experiences of others!

The first post in this series will be up on Friday the 15th. Excited yet? I am!

PS: Have you entered the Femme Lounge Giveaway featuring the Floral Vine bedsheet from Beddings 'n' Beyond? Find out all about it here


Chiviva Maiden Hair Sales

Chiviva Hair is having her maiden edition of Hair Sales,in Lagos.on the 29th & 30th of March at Silver Bird Galleria. With over 30 different hair styles you can be sure to have a good time shopping varieties of good, quality human hair.

Prices range from:
N18,000 for 8” to N43,000 for 30” ~for all machine weft Chiviva brand.
N20,000 for 8” to N35,000 for 20” ~for all handweft Duchess, Uyai Super and Peruvian Curls.
N14,000 for 8” to N45,000 for 40” ~for Spanish, Mongolian, Brazil and Cambodian Hair.
N10,500 for 8” to N36,000 for 40” ~for Malaysian and Indian Hair.

Pre-order now and beat the rush. Send an e-mail to Your order number would be sent to you.

For more information:

Birthday Blues

Once upon a time, i walked into a law court, my dad in tow, to formally swear that i was way older than i actually looked. In those days you see, the University considered a certain age too young to be admitted. I didn’t mind adding the years...i was too young to begrudge them a couple. How fearless we are when we are young!
March 4th, 2013

Older. Definitely Wiser. But mostly Thankful.

#Giveaway ~ Win Floral Vine Bed Sheet From Beddings ‘n’ Beyond!

So, Beddings ‘n’ Beyond partnered with Femme Lounge for FL’s March Giveaway edition. Femme Lounge is an online magazine that talks about Women’s Opinions, Issues, Debates, Advice & News. At Femme Lounge, questions women have but are not sure should be asked are talked about and alternative viewpoints provided on topics. This giveaway runs until the end of March.

Giveaway Description
This is a modern casual flat sheet that adds a dynamic look to any bedroom with its cool mature colours.
Bedding fabric: 100% Cotton
Tailored to fit: 6 x 7
Pack contains: 1 Flatsheet, 4 Pillowcases
Machine washable: Softness enhanced with each washing.

Celebrating Love

Hey! How has everyone been? Busy week, I reckon... fasting and shopping for the perfect Valentine gift for the significant other OR praying for the perfect gift from the significant other. Either way, as long as I am writing this and you are reading it, how about thanking God for the ultimate gift of Love? The gift of His son...the gift of Life! Ultimate!
Anyways, my colleague and a huge believer in the Beddings ‘n’ Beyond brand {what else does carte blanche on furniture, curtains and bedding for his house say?} got married on Saturday, February 9.
That he got married isn’t why I’m writing this post, even tho that in itself is a huge deal. It seemed like this dude had hugged his confirmed bachelor trophy close to chest and just plain refused to let go. I guess it took the right woman...and at the very time he needed her, to change his mind. But I digress.

Nah. This post is about how he called me and said, “Babe, I need you to make my bedroom beautiful for when I bring my wife home on Monday, February 11. Do what you gotta do!” I love when clients say that... “Just do what you gotta do and send me a bill”. Limitless...
Anyways, i did what i gotta do, with the help of my friends Bidemi & mattress, new pillows, new bedding, fresh ambience, for the new couple. Here’s a peek at the end product....

More pictures after the cut...

Not Simple, Yet It Is

The dissimilarity between a man and a woman is so much more than the “wo” in woman. I’ve always known this but on this day, with every tear shed in confusion by this friend, I’m reminded again! The difference dates back, as far as childhood.

You see, girls love to nurture. Boys, on the other hand, cannot be bothered. Where you see a little girl having a heart to heart with her doll, hosting a tea party or making eba and soup from sand and wild leaves, the boy is busy hunting down clueless, innocent lizards with his catapult. Lizards don’t need tête-à-têtes and really, what can compare to the thrill of hunting? Certainly not coo-ing to “stupid” dolls!

The difference persists into and probably through teen years. While the girl has her face buried in her Mills & Boon, trying and possibly succeeding to conjure and communicate with her future dream husband, the boy is busy fapping car keys from busy and unsuspecting parents, studying Nackson the Nacker and keeping scores of babes “nacked”, real or imagined! The thrill…
As young adults tho, the dissimilarity diminishes. With no lizards to hunt and no inclination to do so really (not unless he relishes being called a retard), the guy has got ample time to really think about wooing the opposite sex. By now, he has watched Titanic and Serendipity a few times and so he’s catching up, quite nicely, on how to be romantic. Also, he’s making money now with little or no responsibility other than spoiling you stinkers. So cozy dinners, nights out, flowers, gifts & presents, holidays are pretty much a norm. This is the type of love a woman loves. And this is where she begins to sing:

It shall be permanent… {2x}
What the Lord has done for me…
It shall be permanent.
And then it becomes permanent, the kind that says, “...until death do us part!”

Cuter Than A Button


Have you seen a cuter 3-day old baby?
My baby sister @Labelleace “took delivery” of this precious little Princess {with a capital P} on the 7th of January! I cannot believe Belle is now a mother of 2!!

Look at her...Danica a.k.a D2. Feels like i've know this child forever. Belle and i couldn't wait for her to get here. She took her sweet time. Diva! 
Winking at the camera? Excuse me but these kids start early! What does a 3-day old know about smiling for the camera?! Love her. 
 ...and she looks exactly like me. Nobody is gonna convince me otherwise.
Congratulations, sister mine! God continue to bless you and yours...and give you the strength and grace to contend with their antics, both D1 and D2. Best be saying a stronger "Amen" on the strength part of that prayer! Chets and Zi are no different from Tom and Jerry! So exhausting!
Belle blogs at Belle's Kitchen. Where she finds the energy, i'll never know. Superwoman, my baby sister!

Tickled or Teaching?

It has become some sort of an early morning routine with them, my son and his father. Once the hubby is up, he calls for Chets to fetch him drinking water. Some days especially when he's angling for the iPad, Chets doesn't waste time fetching the drinking water. Other days, though quite rare, he’ll throw a “Daddy, why are you always lying down and sending me to get water? Eeeeeeeevery morning...” or “I’m tired too...” at his father and then grudgingly skip off to get the water. As punishment though, he’ll drink half of the water, slurp some more all over the floor and then present the rest to his thirsty father. The poor man eventually gets less than a quarter-full glass of water! Whichever way his mood swings or his day starts, one thing was constant: Chets always fetches the water. iPad is still the endgame.

This particular morning though, he balked. Like, he said “No Daddy, I AM TIRED!!!”. Can’t say I blame him; I know exactly how he felt. You know how it is when you have to wake up real early to get ready for school (in Cheta’s case) or to get ready for an early morning meeting (in my case) and someone else is well ensconced in their duvet, watching TV cos their job encourages working remote? It can pain. Infact, it pains extra when they now send you on errands from the delish comforts of their duvet cos hey, you are already up and about. Tres painful.
Anyways, I’m guessing that’s how Chets felt this morning. I guess I understood. But this was not about understanding. This was about parenting. I was not raised to say “No, I won’t do it; I am too tired” to my father when he sends me on errands. Your mama born you well so? My daddy will slap you into next week! So mba, I was not raised to say no to, or even query orders errands from the parents. And, I wasn't about to piss on that family tradition and cue lamentations every Sunday in church on account of my kids, on top disobedience mata. No way, Jose! I need to be able to send my kids on errand and they need to be able to cheerfully oblige.

Beaten But Not Broken


He was in a really foul mood, i could tell. Fouler than usual. His murderous countenance, the slammed door and that bark in response to the kids excited “Daddy!!!” were dead giveaways. One look at his face and i had Semilore my eldest, take Nimi to their room, praying silently and fervently that tonight would not be one of those nights. Quick as i could, considering how heavily pregnant i was, i shuffled into the kitchen to get his food. I wasn’t going to give him a reason to make me the end user of his wrath.
After I’ve served his meal at the table, i went to call him. He grunted a “Bring it to me!” Thankful for at least a feedback even if it was a grunt, i went to fetch his tray from the dining room. I was preoccupied with rending a song of gratitude albeit inaudibly, to the forces-that-be for averting tonight’s drama when my leg hit the edge of the bed and i nearly fell. In trying to regain my balance, the glass of water i had put on the tray fell and splashed...on the bed but mostly on him!

Before i got married, I had a list of what i wanted in a man. A hot temper was not one of them but my husband, he scored a whooping 9 out of my 12 wants on that list. I figured i could deal with the hot temper. After all, everyone who’s been on the receiving end of his temper deserved it...sort of! I figured wrong!

I knew he was in a really foul mood that night; i just didn’t how bad he’s got it. No sooner had i opened my mouth to apologise, than he landed the mother lode of slaps on my right cheek! I SAW STARS, literally. The tray of food i was carrying slipped from my hands, emptying its contents all over the floor. Impaired vision would fetch same reaction from even the strongest. That night wasn’t one of those nights. That night was THE NIGHT! He beat me until i felt my water break. My God. Even then, he didn’t stop until he noticed i was doubled over in excrutiating pain, hugging my pregnancy. I don’t remember much after that. I think i passed out. I heard i was out of it for two days. When i woke, a beautiful baby girl was put in my bruised arms. My daughter. My third child for this man i loved...and i had no recollection of birthing her. He stole that from me.

I should hate him with all of my heart but i couldn’t. I was bitter, yes but i couldn’t hate him. Not when he was standing there by my bedside, eyes glittering with unshed tears, pleading for my forgiveness and pledging his undying love. I forgave him.  Why wouldn’t i? He is my husband and I love him. Nobody had it all. Nobody needs to know what he did. It was our business and my shame to bear. Moreover, we were reasonably happy...
...until that late night, two months later.

Twice The Heartbreak

I saw this on Facebook the other day. It had me in stitches but it also reminded me of how different the men folk are really from the womenfolk. Read, enjoy!

Dear John,
I hope you can help me. The other day, i set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car stalled, and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and i had to walk back to get my husband’s help. When i got home, i couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour’s daughter. I am 32; my husband is 34 and the neighbour’s daughter is 19. We’ve been married for about 10 years. When i confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they’ve been having an affair for the past six months. He won’t go for counselling and i’m afraid i am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help?
Sincerely, Sheila.

Dear Sheila,
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with theengine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If its clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pumps itself is causing low delivery pressure to the injectors. I hope this helps.


If i were Sheila, John is yesterday’s news. LMAO! Heart broken twice; first by a cheating husband and then by a clueless stranger! Men, truly from Mars!