CM: Cheating- A Woman's Perspective II


So, you got married and with each day, your partner's romantic tendencies seemingly disappears. Reason enough to cheat?

“I love my husband, but he’s a workaholic!”…….its tough, sista but I honestly believe its not reason enough to cheat. Keep busy….it makes his absence less noticeable; more bearable. Its ironic though, isn’t it? Seeing as cheating is actually one way of keeping busy, yes?! On a serious note, however, be productive….keep busy.

“He’s cheated on me so many times; its payback time!”…….i sympathize with every woman that has been cheated on by her spouse or partner. No woman should have to go through the roller-coaster emotions associated with being cheated on. Not only does the act shatter the trust that IS the bedrock of that union, it erodes her self-confidence…eats away at her self-worth. It begs the question, “What did she have that I didn’t?” Its so easy to fall into the arms of the next man that ‘appreciates’ her…..so easy and ‘justifiable’ cos he has been cheating. However, hard as this may sound, forgive! In order for a relationship to
function properly, to survive, you must learn to forgive and realize that people will make mistakes.

The other day on the radio, a woman married with three children called in to Dan Foster's show on InspirationFM. Her request: That a call be placed through to her unmarried lover of eleven months who just called the realtionship quits. She wants them to still be friends! Married with three children, the husband very much alive? The relationship went as far as eloping plans sef. I wonder what she was planning to do with her kids! SMH
At this point, I would like to say that I do not claim to be an authority on why women cheat or why anyone cheats for that matter. There are so many circumstances {some pardonable if I may use that word; some not} that could work against a woman being faithful to her partner.
I threw this question out to some colleagues of mine and the varying responses I got ranged from lack of attention, to boredom, to abuse both physically and emotionally, to love of money, to hunger for more sex! Whatever the reason, I would like to reiterate that no man….or woman is without flaw. The 80:20 rule for a relationship has it that 80% of what 'we' want/need/desire in a man, 'we' already have in a husband/partner; the other 20% 'we' find in the guy outside….extra-curricular as far as i'm concerned. The important question is: Would  you rather mess around with the flighty 20% and risk losing out on the rock-solid 80%?

Marriage IS a bed of roses, thorns and all! It is inevitable that couples would face challenges that could possibly wreck the union. However, always remember that you love(d) this man; always remember that change is the only constant in life and finally, always remember that work will win when & where wish won't!


You are stronger than you think you are!!

4 comments:

HoneyDame said...

First time here and I think so far, I am convinced to go on rampage till I get to the newest post!!
I agree with you on this whole female and cheating issue. It is sort of complicated. But really, if as a woman, we try to justify cheating with "Well, he cheated too!" One person will hurt more than the other....
And that last paragraph of Marriage IS a bed of roses is sooo phenomenal. I have heard "Marriage is NOT a bed of roses" before. But when you put it in that perspective, it makes sense because in reality, a bed of roses actually contains thorns too...

Hazel said...

Those thorns are very much real. An older friend once gave me the low-down on her marriage and the fact that it survive was simply from her sheer determination that she would not be a laffing stock amongst her peers!

Marriage is scary, i know but when u marry your friend, you breathe easy to some extent!

Anonymous said...

loving this blog......No woman should cheat on her husband!

Chuwechuwe said...

This is deep. I have so much to say and no words. *sigh*