A Sell-out, The Heart

“When you really care about someone, their mistakes never change how you feel about them. It is the mind that gets angry; the heart still cares.” ~ Anonymous

I had a totally different post for today but as soon as i saw this quote on a friend’s dp, the inspiration for the planned post flew out of the window. You can’t even begin to realize how true the above quote is. Took me back 7 years.

I remember it like yesterday, the Friday before my bestie’s traditional wedding far back in ‘06. It was the soon-to-be-hubby’s birthday. I had no idea what caused the rift from the night before. Seemed like those days, every- and anything was a bone of contention between us. I hadn't learnt to say “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me” and he, he didn't even know what “I was wrong” meant; never mind about “I am sorry”. That would be me asking for too much really. Hot heads, both of us. Quite passionate about our own opinions...and we guarded them jealously.

Whatever the bone of contention was from the night before must’ve been really heavy though, cos we slept on the same darn bed {with the space in between us as wide as that highway Moses constructed smack in the middle of River Nile, atink}, woke and resumed scowling at each other. I was soooooo angry I forgot refused to say Happy Birthday. Angrier when he left for work without so much as asking how I was gonna get to the airport for my 11:50 to Owerri. Angriest because this would be our last time together until our own traditional wedding barely two weeks later. Who gives his wife-to-be the silent treatment in view of all these?

My mind was besides itself in anger. Seething would be the right word. Marinating in freaking vitriol. In this angry state, I realized, and not for the first time, what it meant to truly love someone. Their happiness always always always transcends yours! Always.

How else will you explain my catching a cab to Yaba to pick up his birthday cake for Araba’s (they didn't deliver those days) or going all the way to Park ‘n’ Shop VI to pick up these really exquisite tiny chocolate bars in a jar {can’t remember the name} for him? It wasn't meant to be eaten really. He’s not the chocolate type. It’s just, the “I Love You” I spelt out on “his” spanking new bed sheet looked so much better in chocolates.

“Annoying man!” *lays sheet*

“Of all the men in the world, it’s this stubborn one i decided to gaan agree to marry!” *pops open the box of chocolates*

“Who even says i cannot return this engagement ring sef?” *spells out “I” with the chocolates*

“Will serve him right if i pack all my kaya and leave and never pick up his calls...” *completes the “Love You”*

“It’s not his fault. I don’t blame him ra ra. It’s me i blame...” *admires overall look and pats self at the back, lizard style*

I mean, here i am seething mad at this man {who of course is blissfully unaware} yet, so excited scattering his gifts all over the house and leaving clues on their locations in little notes! Love doesn't even begin to make sense, sometimes. It just felt good doing that for him even though I still didn't call to wish him a happy birthday. I just stuck the mother of them notes on his dresser, packed my kaya {but not all of them...where will i uncover another husband in 2 weeks?} and found my way to the airport.

Usually, when we fight like this, I look forward to the make up gifts! The hubby out-does himself when it comes to those. I guess that his way of saying “I’m sorry.” I kinda like. So unfortunate he’s actually learnt to SAY those words. School fees be getting in the way of things! But I digress. Months after this particular fight, give or take a few weeks, Chets was born. What can I say? Gift of life yo!

The mind can like to go and hug a transformer. But the heart, the heart always cares...

...until it doesn't. And even then, we would have only ourselves and the negative emotions left unchecked to blame!

If you are reading this and you’ve got a 14months old son named Nathan or Naeto or Nat who had temperature spikes this morning and had to be brought in to the popular children’s hospital in Surulere, your husband is PURE GOLD! Like I’ve never seen a guy handle a sick barely-past-one-year-old boy so well, it was a joy to watch. Deftly changing diapers, feeding the baby and lulling the baby to sleep, all by himself...with the most cheerful face everrrr! I wondered if he was a single dad but he said his wife had an important meeting at work she couldn’t afford to miss!

Sometimes, it is the little things but most times, the major acts of love that just seals the deal for us!


Toinlicious said...

*snif* I totally agree with you :)

Toinlicious said...

*snif* this love

Toinlicious said...

*snif* this love

LadyNgo said...

LMBO @ "school fees be getting in the way of things"

The quote is so true. God knows there have been times where i just wanted to be/stay pissed off but couldn't will myself to be lol. Funny thing, that love stuff.

Luciano said...

awwwwwwwwww *wipes teardrop*

Chuwechuwe said...

The heart! ah! The universe's ultimate joke on mankind. A body organ with it's own mind that goes its own way no matter where the brain wants to go hahahahaha. I had to laugh at the image of you angry and muttering to yourself while laying out the gifts. I thoroughly enjoyed this post.

Abiola said...

Still laffing at ...uncover husband in 2 wks(or something like that)...

The heart does crazily beautiful things deemed unrealistic or unreasonable by the mind sometimes.
The day the head starts ruling...yawa

Always enjoy reading your blog.


Jemima said...

yes, the heart is not so smart eh, this post made me laugh and awwww too!

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blogoratti said...

Interesting quote and great post, thanks for sharing!

Aijay said...

I really enjoy your posts Hazel. This made me really smile, laugh, and Aww! Love is an annoyingly awesome stuff.