In Those Early Days of Marriage...

Before you get married;

“They” tell you how you need to marry your friend to live happily ever after, how you should marry a God-fearing Christian man that his conscience is still very much intact and so will not “misbehave” after marriage, how you should marry a rich man that will afford your every whims and desires without so much as a grumble! They tell how you need to respect and obey your husband. And they are right...plus they really do mean well for you.

What they never tell you is that the first 365 days of marriage is usually the most turbulent!! Oh yes, they never tell you that. Friend and God-fearing aside, you are usually surprised with the many times non-issues as were while y'all were dating become bones of serious contention between the both of you. Mehn, the early days of marriage requires a lot of getting used to.

They never tell you how the different points of view you thought as soo cute before now could be so glaringly annoyingly frustrating. I kid you not...its a regular battle of will{s} those early days. Scarred from the battles and armed with the life lessons the fights have taught you, in latter days you'll learn to incoporate "I understand and appreciate your opinion but..." into some of the sentences made in those heated moments. "Whatever" is a no-no unless you relish days of really uncomfortable silence {best kill me!}

They never tell you how inconsiderate {matter of opinion} he can get. He sees a nicely arranged stack of his own clothings and he wants to wear the checked Tommy Hilfiger t-shirt at the bottom of that stack. God forbid that one of his hands will hold the stack in place while the other gently removes the aforementioned piece of clothing! Mbanu!!! One hand will be a not-so-innocent bystander while the other will pull the clothing from right under the neat stack!! It is inevitable that the pile will collapse but it is also inevitable that he'll leave the mess there and walk! So yeah, they never tell you how inconsiderate he can be. With time though, you'll learn to quietly leave the "crime" scene and head straight to the restroom armed with a copy of his picture and his favourite footwear, lock the door and slap that likeness within an inch of its life....with his favourite shoe!!!! Justice!!! With time you learn that you do not unlock the door until you have expended all your negative energy. With time, you learn that you come out from that restroom laughing and that he usually joins in to laugh which makes you laugh the harder....you laugh because you are thinking if only he knew what you did to him and he is laughing because, well, he wants to laugh!

They never tell you how you'll have to break out the mortar and pestle every once in a while and pound those yams like their mothers used to do! AYOOLA Poundo Yam will never do...dude is suddenly allergic to processed yam flour and indomie and beans and fries...pretty much everything you know how to cook! In those early days, BBC Foods channel is your best friend. Experiment the hell outta those recipes...what doesn't kill him can only make him and your marriage stronger!!!

They never tell you how late he can be getting home sometimes. Forget the fact that you both used to hang out till pretty late at night. Now y'all are married and you are saddled with the additional responsibility of hustling home once its 6p.m to go prep dinner for your man. In those early days, you'll expect that he'll appreciate you effort by at least coming home early to eat the dinner.

If he gets home by:

8p.m---he gets the biggest hug and sweetest kisses ever; you've missed him!

9p.m---he gets just one brief hug; you've been home since 6pm...what kept him?

10p.m---you still manage to say Welcome and strangely, mean it!

11p.m---See picture below



The time he gets home determines the weapon!

Ahhhh, those early days. With time, you learn to let him be and guess what, he realises he'll rather be home with you....hanging out without you suddenly fails to excite!

Awwww shucks...where has the time gone? Continue later. Right now, duty calls! Plus i hate abyssimally long posts...this one was getting long so its just as well! However, do not hesitate to comment your own instances of what they never told you in those early days of marriage!


NB: WHO SAID A PRAYER FOR KAYLA TODAY? Read her story here

17 comments:

Taka said...

Hahahaha, sis methinks this is your best post so far. The truth told in the most witty way possible. The part about the shoe and the picture....*priceless*
Yeah they never tell you that your old male friends are suddenly supposed to disappear and cease to exist the day after your wedding and you are expected to lose their numbers too. Hehehehehe.
NB:I prayed for Kayla today ;) Biko dont keep us waiting for the second part. Jisike nne.

Hazel said...

Hey babes, I've milzed you!!! Thank you! And ladies, here's another from my homie Taka: They never tell you that having male friends after wedding is a taboo!!!

Hazel said...

"@Zitera: Just went thru my last blogpost. Yikes! Regular typo galore! #notetoself Blog not while the kids are still awake!"
Pls pardon some of my gbaguns!!!

Engeez said...

Nne!!!!! nice one enjoyed reading it....more please!

Hazel said...

Thanki Engeez!

Sisi Yemmie ™ said...

ha ha ha aha.....u stole this post outa my head.....lol...I was meant to put up a post similar to this yesterday, oh, well i go still post am.lol. This was soooo funny oh....kai....how will someone cope????

Hazel said...

Lolz, Yemmzie! Im so waiting for that post....I'm stalking your blog now!!!!

Chichi said...

they don't tell us that when we get married, we are exchanging the attention of many men for the inattention of one.

Hazel said...

@Chichi Good one. Inattention...hmmmm. Sometimes it could be over-attention and so not in a good way!!!

Thanx for dropping a comment!

fifi said...

this is so true,love this post and i love ur blog too.Just learnt about baby K,how is she doing now? i pray she gets completely well.

Hazel said...

Thanx Fifi, for stopping by. God is keeping Baby K. She's doing ok but still has a long way to go!

Coy~Introvert said...

hahaha, lol, nice read and really funny. Especially at 11pm where you have to determine the weapon, lmao.

coyintrovert.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

My best post so far. very true, well done. They never tell you never to argue, interject or interrupt, his word is yeah and amen! or you be considered a disrespectful wife

MrsNdem said...

LOL, love it. Been married a little more than 4 months now lol. Have a long list of those as well... will share sometime.

Anonymous said...

Awww i luv this write up. I pray i marry the man of my dreams this year. More like i pray i marry the man God has made for me and at his time. Amen. I heart ur blog

Naija Husband said...

Hazel...I'm glad I wrote mine from a male perspective. This post is totally on the side of the women!
Seriously though - all the counseling, books and advice in the world can't prepare either spouse for the actual realities of marriage. It just has to be experienced to be believed.

Naija Husband said...

....I'm glad I wrote my post showing the male perspective. This post is totally on the side of the females! Seriously though, all the books, counseling and advice in the world can't prepare either spouse for the day to day realities of marriage. It has to be experienced to be believed!