My Book Of Bible Stories

The Bible, brought to you by AA. Sister, leggooo…..

@Abyurla: *Adjusts clerical collar*

Thank You Jesus! Have you said it today? Ok, lemme rap to you guys real quick about Ruth. 

There was recession in Judah, Naomi's hubby & her two sons moved to Moab along with her because she won their visa lottery. Hubby died shortly after
.

Both sons got jobs and soon married Moabite babes - Orpah & Ruth. 10yrs later, both sons died *sigh* leaving Naomi & both wives behind…no kids yet.

Naomi began to reflect & soon enough decided to move back home...she had heard on CNN & also read some blogs…the recession had finally abated. Praise God!

At the end of the mourning period, the three set out for Judah. While waiting to board, Naomi decides to send Orpah & Ruth back to their families.

Dunno o, maybe Orpah had a new admirer and was hoping this would happen, but she first formed shantgree but eventually carried her kaya, hugged Naomi and Ruth and left.

Ruth ADAMANTLY refused to go. She stayed with Naomi. She prolly just didn't think it right to abandon Naomi after all the hard blows the poor woman had suffered. Loyalty

But Ruth said, "Don't force me to leave you; don't make me go home. Where you go, I’ll go; and where you live, I’ll leave. Your people are my people; your God is my God.  Where you die, I'll die, and that's where I'll be buried, so help me God-not even death itself is going to come between us!” http://bible.us/Ruth1.17.MSG

On arrival, someone must have recognized Naomi because before they could even pick their checked-in luggage, a picture of her & Ruth was already on LIB [Linda Ikeji Blog] & LLB [Ladun Liadi Blog]. Hahahahahahaha….

A “friend” later sent her the links to alert her. She read a few of the comments, sighed & added hers "Don't call me Naomi; call me Bitter ..." Awwwwwww [Naomi means Beautiful, Pleasant in Hebrew] Thanks Google.

Ruth is super-sensitive of the fact that Naomi may not be able to fend for them so she goes job-hunting amidst stares & yimus.  She got one. Yaaay!

Turns out Ruth's employer, Boaz is her late hubby's family & is a good, caring, honorable & rich man. Ruth is also decent, diligent & obedient. I'm sure this also exists in Nigeria; the culture of the nearest male relative marrying the widow exists in Judah. Naomi recognizes an opportunity.

 Naomi tells Ruth what to do to set the ball rolling, “Take a bath. Put on some perfume. Dress up, go to the threshing floor...lie at Boaz' feet!”

If na babes of nowadays, na her looks & awayian accent Ruth go dey take do sprespre up & down, no go even hear wetin Naomi dey yarn am again. Hahahahahahaha….

*Naomi pulls her right ear* “I didn't say u should go and twitpic you & him while he's asleep o. Wait & see what he says. He'll tell u what to do.” LWKMD!

She went. When she got there, she said, “I am Ruth, your maiden; take me under your protection. You are my relative & in the circle of covenant redeemers, you have the right to marry me”.

If Ruth thought her mother-in-law was a little crazy, she didn’t let it show. She simply replied “I will do whatever you say.” And she did.

Ruth, sharp girl! Boaz, sharp guy! Before you could say GBAM, him don begin follow due protocol to marry Ruth. Court wedding, twitpic, DP, honeymoon
.

Ruth born boy [Obed].  Trust the anonymous commenters to get busy:
“e don reach 9mths already?”…
“ah Naomi, God don turn your sadness to joy”…
“Abokoku!”…
LMAO

Ruth didn’t even send “haters”. Little did she know she was going be so great...King David's grandma & part of Jesus' family tree. Learn people! 

I dedicate this story & say a big God bless you & kudos to the Ruths & Boazes out there - loyal, diligent, committed, good character.

Pls share lessons learnt & ponder: Ladies, would you act like Ruth or like Orpah? Guys, would you act like Boaz and not take advantage of Ruth?

Thank u for being such an attentive audience...Till another day when I bring you anoda tori...Pastor AA(Yummy) signing out.

Hilarious piece yes, but the strong message therein cannot be mistaken. Are you a Ruth, tenacious and loyal, destined for greatness and courageously worked towards it; or are you an Orpah, flaky and flighty at the first sign of hardship?

If I’m totally honest with myself, I am 80% an Orpah than a Ruth. I get too caught up in whats happening in the moment to see the long term benefit of situations. Today, I ask for His grace. God knows I need it!

Thank you, AA. 

Follow her on Twitter @Abyurla. You’ll be glad you did!

9 comments:

AA said...

Yay! 1st *backflips* or yall don't do that here?

Meeehn Ruth is one of a kind, she risked it all. But it paid off, BIG TIME! I'm awed by her story all over again.

I later heard that Orpah was famzing Naomi and Ruth at Obed's naming.

Thanks for putting this out here nne. May God strengthen us where/when we are weak. Amen

Hazel said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahah!AA ooooo. No, we don't do it here!

Orpah was famzing them at Obed's naming? LWKMD!!! Hahahahaha...

Toinlicious said...

Hahaha dis is very hilarious but you can't miss the message.

P.S: So I heard Bella Naija covered the naming sha but I neva confirm. Who fit?

@ilola said...

Lol. Funny. I am more of a Ruth but people sometimes yap me for being like that.

HoneyDame said...

LMAO!!!!! Oh gawd!!! If anyone fails CRS after reading stories like that, that person needs redemption!!!
ROTFLMAO....Orpah was famzing?! LMAO

Wetin Ruth do, no be small matter o. I am sure I lean more towards Orpahniness...Lord help my soul.

BellaNaija covered the naming?! Laff don comot my sokoto o!!!

aloted said...

Ruth abokoku!!!!

LOL...

Enjoyed reading this...

Oluchi Ugwu said...

Love the modern twist on an old but powerful story. Enjoyed reading your story. I pray for more grace to be like Ruth.

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Che said...

I loved the way she injected humor in this story.