Scrambled Post Numero Uno: Tossing The Baggages
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Scrambled
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So, two days ago i tweeted: My brain is so fried right now...i think i need to blog to relieve the tension! Y’all expect a really scrambled post!
As promised, here’s the first in what might be a long list of scrambled posts:
Some fourteen months ago when I was about seven months pregnant with Zi, I was honoured with an encounter with one of those unwholesome/unsavoury characters that bad experiences are made of!
I had closed from work later than usual that day and not wanting to keep my driver longer than was necessary, I had asked him to drop off close to the house so I can drive the rest of the way home. He cleared off and momentarily parked the car at the only good spot on that stretch of the road. Incidentally, the spot was right in front of a gated desolate-looking seemingly uninhabited compound. No harm done, right? It would only take me a few minutes to climb down from the back seat, waddle across and make myself comfortable in the driver’s seat then continue on my merry way home, yes? Hmmmm....
As it were, i was still trying to waddle across to the driver’s side when this ‘uniformed’ guard came out from the kain building i thought was uninhabited. The following convo ensued:
Guard: Abeg abeg, comot this car from here! {such courtesy...smh}
Me: Oga, sorry. I won’t waste time...i just wan drop my driver
Guard: Abeg comot this thing. Why you go come park car for in front of person office? You no dey even think?
Me: But i already said i was sorry. I’m leaving already.
Notice how i had switched to proper English...anger does that to me. Did this creature that does not even qualify to be called dude just call me a brainless bimbo? Anyways, i decided to be the bigger person and shake it off. And then he said:
Guard: Me? Understand? I don come your office before come block am? I no blame you. No be because you don go prostitute finish, one stupid man come give you car, na why you go dey talk anyhow!
That, stopped me in my tracks. In slow mo, i did a one-eighty and faced him-from-the-pits. I tried...God knows i tried, but i couldn’t contain the venom cooking inside of me {plus everyone knows that pregnant chics are particularly cantankerous....temperament move from zero to a hundred in one second flat!}
Mehn, i let loose on the man. I’m not only pint-sized, i abhor physical confrontation. But what i lack in physical strength, i more than make up for in the mouthing section. My word vom was on another level that day. I whaled on the man. I dredged up residual angst from things that supposedly irked me at work that day and i channeled all into cussing the fool out! Boy, i forgot i was pregnant and tired! My outburst shocked by driver...he was still hanging around...into speechlessness! {in the almost-two years he has been in my employ as at that time, he has never seen me like that}
In all my rantings, i did make sure he heard one message loud and clear: at least i had the brains to ‘prostitute’ myself to a man who could afford to pay for the ‘service’ with a car!! Hidiot!!! I was so worked up i didn’t even notice the sizable crowd that had gathered..trust Lagosians! So furious was I that i had started saying, “With this pregnancy i swear it shall...” when i felt a hand on my shoulder and i turned to see an elderly respectable-looking lady shake her head side to side and say, “Don’t! Not with the child in your womb! Let it go!”
In all my rantings, i did make sure he heard one message loud and clear: at least i had the brains to ‘prostitute’ myself to a man who could afford to pay for the ‘service’ with a car!! Hidiot!!! I was so worked up i didn’t even notice the sizable crowd that had gathered..trust Lagosians! So furious was I that i had started saying, “With this pregnancy i swear it shall...” when i felt a hand on my shoulder and i turned to see an elderly respectable-looking lady shake her head side to side and say, “Don’t! Not with the child in your womb! Let it go!”
I let it go. I climbed into my car and i drove off, fuming all the way home.
It wasn’t the fact that he called me a prostitute that got my goat; it was the fact that he assumed i had only to spread my legs to achieve this object of his oh-so-obvious envy. Heck, i cooked and cleaned and laundered and kept house and pushed forth babies....i worked hard for my car!! What right does he have to trivialize my hard work by calling me a prosti? God punis...*woooosaaaa* bless him in where ever difficult corner he is in right now!!!!
I know that incident pained me well well cos each time i drive by that building till date, i mumble ‘idiot’ under my breath unconsciously! Blogging it makes it so less of an issue. Here’s hoping i finally let it go....he was just another frustrated nonentity!
My brain does feels slightly better...one baggage dropped off.
My brain does feels slightly better...one baggage dropped off.
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Anyways, this is as far as i can go tonight! Question is, though: You Like? Leave a comment....don't make me beg!!! Lol!
Since I'm already in the
Oooh, almost forgot...I've got this ChatBox thingy on the right corner of this blog. For my readers that visit via mobiles/blackberry, y'all can drop a message/comment there. Mucha gracias!
I'm off to bed. Taataa...x
@Ebonynena's Plus-One Birthday Bash
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Events
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The 21st Century Dilemma: Career Vs Family
I am a pharmacist by profession but these days {and for the last three years for that matter}, I dress up and play at being a banker! Quite a career leap, yes? Topic for another…post!
Anyways, I am a banker now. When I got my present job, I was beyond estactic. Prior to my job offer, I was a stay-at-home mom for all of eight months and somewhere along those months, I had managed to morph into a very refined mgbeke! Personal grooming took a back seat to tending to my two babies at that time…The Hubby and Chets! In fact, it got sooo bad that once, a market woman asked whether everything was alright in my life. That fateful day, I was garbed in an ill-fitting tank-top, The Hubby’s cargo shorts and some random bathroom slippers i stumbled on in the house! {I fall my hand seriously sha}. You see, Aunty MarketWoman knew me from when I just entered Gidi from the The Garden City and so watching me transition from chic-squared to less than status quo, was a cause for concern for her. I never forgot that incident…it was a turning point in my life!
So, going to my new job at the bank meant the world to me! I was grateful for the opportunity to gadge up every morning, put some make-up on and attend to random faces from all works of life that the job afforded me. Ego-boosting compliments tossed casually my way made my days. Not to mention the moola I get to pocket at the end of every month.....now I don’t havta rehearse lines before I ask of him! Let’s even forget the fact that I get to practice all them vocabs I learnt in school on my peers! If I had stayed a couple more months at home, all my knowledge of the English language woulda been reduced to cooing sounds! Honestly, having a job after such draughts, well-paying or no, does things to one’s self confidence…all positive!
You can then imagine my discomfort when I started hearing the word resignation in more than just passing at the home front. From my momma, to the hubby, to the inlaws...i swear, it was an overload. Can’t say I blame them...my job is mental! In this age of electronic everything {e-banking, e-toasting, e-mailing, e-fighting...y’all get the picture}, you’ll shudder at the amount of mindless paperwork I deal with every darn day! Frustrating as it is, sometimes i do wish just the paperwork was my problem. If CBN wakes up from the wrong side of the bed, I pull a 7-day work week...from Monday to Monday! If my employers feel they haven’t sucked me dry enough, i get drafted to training exercises every other week!! You break down? Pooh! Big deal...folks be breaking down way before you! There is little or no time to play with the kids, all three of them. In fact, their little tricks to get my attention start to waltz on my very last nerves. So I get how I, as the woman of the house, the homemaker, am expected to quit my uber demanding job. Problem was that I wasn’t ready to give up the income that sources my designer cum wanna-be designer bags and shoes; and all the Brazilian/Indian/Aba weaves that chic-ifies me!!! Just kidding! I was {still am sef} reluctant because I wanted to be able to assist my boo...if need be...in providing for the home!!
Anyways, I am a banker now. When I got my present job, I was beyond estactic. Prior to my job offer, I was a stay-at-home mom for all of eight months and somewhere along those months, I had managed to morph into a very refined mgbeke! Personal grooming took a back seat to tending to my two babies at that time…The Hubby and Chets! In fact, it got sooo bad that once, a market woman asked whether everything was alright in my life. That fateful day, I was garbed in an ill-fitting tank-top, The Hubby’s cargo shorts and some random bathroom slippers i stumbled on in the house! {I fall my hand seriously sha}. You see, Aunty MarketWoman knew me from when I just entered Gidi from the The Garden City and so watching me transition from chic-squared to less than status quo, was a cause for concern for her. I never forgot that incident…it was a turning point in my life!
So, going to my new job at the bank meant the world to me! I was grateful for the opportunity to gadge up every morning, put some make-up on and attend to random faces from all works of life that the job afforded me. Ego-boosting compliments tossed casually my way made my days. Not to mention the moola I get to pocket at the end of every month.....now I don’t havta rehearse lines before I ask of him! Let’s even forget the fact that I get to practice all them vocabs I learnt in school on my peers! If I had stayed a couple more months at home, all my knowledge of the English language woulda been reduced to cooing sounds! Honestly, having a job after such draughts, well-paying or no, does things to one’s self confidence…all positive!
You can then imagine my discomfort when I started hearing the word resignation in more than just passing at the home front. From my momma, to the hubby, to the inlaws...i swear, it was an overload. Can’t say I blame them...my job is mental! In this age of electronic everything {e-banking, e-toasting, e-mailing, e-fighting...y’all get the picture}, you’ll shudder at the amount of mindless paperwork I deal with every darn day! Frustrating as it is, sometimes i do wish just the paperwork was my problem. If CBN wakes up from the wrong side of the bed, I pull a 7-day work week...from Monday to Monday! If my employers feel they haven’t sucked me dry enough, i get drafted to training exercises every other week!! You break down? Pooh! Big deal...folks be breaking down way before you! There is little or no time to play with the kids, all three of them. In fact, their little tricks to get my attention start to waltz on my very last nerves. So I get how I, as the woman of the house, the homemaker, am expected to quit my uber demanding job. Problem was that I wasn’t ready to give up the income that sources my designer cum wanna-be designer bags and shoes; and all the Brazilian/Indian/Aba weaves that chic-ifies me!!! Just kidding! I was {still am sef} reluctant because I wanted to be able to assist my boo...if need be...in providing for the home!!
Trying to find achieve a workable balance between career and family is very difficult but not impossible. But at what cost? So, you work your butt off to give the kids the very best...commendable! However, what IS the very best? Expensive schools and everything money can buy...which sometimes eventually turns them into spoilt brats OR your time and love and the coat made according to available material...that nurturs them into decent beings?
My 2 kobo on raising kids happens to be that parental presence/influence should be felt more in the formative years of a child's life, at least to age six! In those early years, a kid's mind is not unlike a sponge...soaks in every and any values sent his way! The all-important question is whose values does he/she imbibe? The parents' or the househelp's?
My son is growing right before my eyes. He used to love kissing and cuddling and doing the *naked chicken dance* {every time i wanna have a bath, he’ll perch on the toilet seat and insist on waiting for me till I am done. In the course of waiting, he’ll yell: Mommy, do the chicken dance! It cracks him up each I jiggle in the shower} with me!! These days, kissing and cuddling are restricted to corners where no one will see him being a baby and when i jiggle in the bath, he hightails it outta there...it holds no form of amusement anymore. Bottom line, I am missing out on his babyhood!
My son is growing right before my eyes. He used to love kissing and cuddling and doing the *naked chicken dance* {every time i wanna have a bath, he’ll perch on the toilet seat and insist on waiting for me till I am done. In the course of waiting, he’ll yell: Mommy, do the chicken dance! It cracks him up each I jiggle in the shower} with me!! These days, kissing and cuddling are restricted to corners where no one will see him being a baby and when i jiggle in the bath, he hightails it outta there...it holds no form of amusement anymore. Bottom line, I am missing out on his babyhood!
That’s not all. Because mommy has to work to support daddy, kids are left at the mercy of their minders. Oftentimes as we all know, these minders do everything but mind the children.
Some weeks back, the 40-year plus woman I employed to look after my children undressed my son and then purposely rubbed raw itchy peeled yam that she had picked from the dustbin all over his body! The boy cried himself to sleep that night, confused as to why that number of mosquitoes should bite him all over! Because of his peculiar ultra sensitive skin, by the next morning he had lesions all over his body...he was itchy for days! All these while, the nanny insisted she had no idea how the yam got on the boy’s body until i called my son some days later to ask what really happened. My heart broke when i heard the full gist....I am in love with the Hubby and I love my daughter to bits but Chets IS the very love of my life!!!!
The past coupla weeks has got me seriously thinking: Work or Family as against Work and Family!!! Before now, I would say: Must I chose? Can’t I have both? In my honest opinion, one can have both but
- only if there is some sorta family support...mother, younger sisters/brothers{?}, little cousins...in place to take care of the homefront!
- if one’s job offer flexibility in working hours!
I know for a fact that most modern-day men do not want housewives but they also do not want their children being raised by strangers. And so, most women find themselves subscribing to the Work and Family model. I happen to belong to this group of women. But I am learning to tweak the ratio less in favour of work and more in favour of the family!
No matter what you’ve done for yourself or for humanity, if you cannot look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?
Family IS Everything!!!
Lest I forget, I really like to thank all those that have taken out time to read this blog and comment. Y'all sorta encourage my "harmless" rantings and honestly, what’s the point of ranting without an audience? Defeats the whole purpose!! Mucha gracias!!!
For Japan...With Love
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| Picture Collage by 21stCenturyCareerMom |
Human nature is such that if an incident doesn't affect us directly, we tend to push it out of our minds as if it never happened! I've had the rare oppurtunity of watching all the footages on CNN 24/7 since Friday and one message is glaring: JAPAN IS IN PAINS!!!! The panic, the confusion, the despair, the uncertainities...I can't even begin to comprehend!! According to Japan's Prime Minister, this is their worst disaster since the second world war!!! Husbands looking for their wives and kids, mothers searching in vain for their children, babies crying for their lost/dead mothers, bodies tossed ashore like regular debris, people dead in their homes, homes that are supposed to be their sanctuaries, children killed in their place of learning...it is unbelievable!!! The quake shifted earth in its axis by 10cm and moved Japanese main island 2.4 meters, according to scientists. Thats how powerful it was! The force of the tsunami actually ripped houses from their very foundation, and carried them away as if they were mere toys!! It wiped an entire town Minami Sanriku to non-existence, nothing left, more tham 9,500 missing!! As though the devastation was not enough, there is additional fear of radiation as Japan's nuclear plants took several damaging hits! Structures put in place to protect the citizens have become weapons of their own mass destruction!
Presently, there are concerns of food and fuel shortages in wake of this disaster. More than three million people are without electricity. Most Japanese landmarks have had to turn off lights in order to conserve power and some survivors are beginning to question their luck!!!
I refuse to think: If this happened in Nigeria? I refuse to think if that was me looking for my husband and kids! I refuse to think if those were my children crying for both their father and I? I refuse to think if this was my situation, not knowing where my next meal would come from. And because i refuse this being my situation and i'm helpless to do any other, I REFUSE TO STOP PRAYING FOR THE PEOPLE...NOT COUNTRY...CALLED JAPAN!!!!
GOD Bless Them...Again!!
NB: Paying my blessings forward....
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 20 million people around the world.
If you attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world.
If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch.
If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all.
You are so blessed in ways
you may never even know.
you may never even know.
Say A Prayer On Her Behalf!
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Her pregnancy was a normal one. Ante-natal classes were all attended, as and when due. All necessary medical check-ups were duly done. Nine months later, Kayla* popped out...amid joy and celebrations. Cute little baby she is. During the routine check up every newborne has to undergo, the murmur was heard in her heart! Further enquiry one the part of a doctor who decided to go the extra mile, revealed this piece of devastating information: Baby K has a heart condition called Truncus Arteriosus!
In normal circulation, the pulmonary artery comes out of the right ventricle and the aorta comes out of the left ventricle, which are separate from each other. They carry oxygenated and non-oxygenated blood, respectively, to and from the heart and the two are not supposed to mix!
Truncus arteriosus is a rare type of congenital heart disease in which a single blood vessel (truncus arteriosus) comes out of the right and left ventricles, instead of the normal two (pulmonary artery and aorta). There is usually also a large hole between the two ventricles, Ventricular Septal Defect! As a result, the oxygenated and non-oxygenated blood mix, sending way too much blood to the lungs!!! If left untreated, the too much blood circulation in the lungs causes extra fluid build-up making it really difficullt to breathe! There is no known cause. Its not as a result of anything the mother should or shouldn't have done while pregnant!
Thats not all... This precious little girl also has a condition known as the Pierre Robin Sequence which is usually characterized by but not limited to a small recessed chin, resulting in the tongue being far back in the mouth and thus blocking her airways when she's lying on her back.....leading to cyanosis {the appearance of a blue or purple coloration of the skin due to the tissues near the skin surface being low on oxygen}. Because this condition could also cause food to go to the lungs instead of the stomach, she has been on gastro tube {G Tube}, inserted surgically, through which she feeds instead of the mouth! Again, no known cause!
She had an open-heart surgery exactly seven days after she was born in August 2010!!! And because her chin is small and the tongue falls backwards blocking her airways when she's lying on back, she had to go through another surgery Tracheotomy when she was 3 weeks old. Before both surgeries, she could only breathe through an artificial airway created by piercing her neck region! This is enough to break a mother's heart!!!
I am painting this graphic picture not because i want to aggravate an already heartbroken mother but because i NEED us to feel a minuscle of what this supermom is living through, with her head held high! Baby K was supposed to be suckling at her breasts, tucked lovingly in her mama's bossom but instead, she's feeding through a gastric tube!
{iDigress: When i had my son, i was discharged from the hospital the very next day! I thanked God for safe delivery. I however forgot to thank Him for the healthy baby He gave me! Took that for granted...afterall, after those hours i spent screaming my brains out in the labor room, i was entitled to a healthy baby, right???! So wrong...and God made sure i learnt that lesson with my little girl! For no apparent reason, the chic was just red. Not 'red' as in cute little newborne...naaah! 'Red' as in nearly tomato-red! The doctors kept tossing around the word 'Plethoric' back and forth. After a couple of days with the redness still not resolving, i became worried! Then, my blood sample was taken to determine my Rh factor.....my heart dropped!!!! I thought: Hemolytic Disease of the Newborne!!! *Folks in the medical field tend to come psychologically equipped with extra dollops of paranoia when it comes to disease conditions---I'm a licensed Pharmacist!* Long story short, those were the longest eight days of my life! I cried all through when no one was watching! I made all sorts of promises to God....i just always prayed for her to make it alive the next day, and the next, and the next!
Kayla* is scheduled for another surgery on the 16th of March. Kayla* and her unbelievably strong mother needs our support in prayers...everyone of us; every heart touched by this little one; every woman that has birthed a baby; every man that has fathered a child; anyone hoping for or expecting an offspring...everyone of us!!! A few minutes to tell God about Baby K and her impending surgery, and especially on the 16th, is all i ask. A few minutes to thank God in advance for surgery that would be a tremendious success!
To my dear friend, Kayla* will be a source of unbelievable joy and fulfillment to you!!! *Pause: Need to wipe my tears and get on with this post!* She will make you wanna pull out your hair and laugh at the same time just as her elder sister does now! She will exasperate you as they all do but she will also love you totally, unconitionally for all the sacrifices you made on her behalf! You will look back and thank God for this challenge He gave you both strength and grace, and the patience to live through...and overcome! He will so surprise you that you will change her first name to Miracle and her middle name to Testimony!! Just continue being strong, as you have always being! It already well with her....just believe!!!! JISIKE and thank you for allowing me share this with the rest of the world!
NB: Kayla is not her real name but it might well be because thats what i now call her! I used the name because of its meanings: A crown of laurels {Yiddish} or Who is like God? {Hebrew} and ironically, it is also my daughter's name!
NB: I did not include any pictures because they are a bit disturbing. At a later date, and with her momma's blessings, i might post the pictures of Kayla and everyone will see the difference our prayers made in her life!
NB: Serious issues not unlike this one, trivializes already trivial issues we always complain and whine about... everyday!! Dame P's murder of the english language comes to mind!
Thanx for reading! Much love...x
Just For Laughs!
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I'm usually not a fan of BBM broadcasts and when i got this one, i almost deleted it {on sight as per usual} except it came from a close friend who isnt that much of a broadcaster. Good decision not deleting it...If you had a son as strong-willed as mine, you will understand why i'm blogging the broadcast. Tres funny!!! Here goes:
Whenever your children are out of control, take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was, "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit!" God said
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve, we have forbidden fruit!" This was Adam
"No way!" replied Eve
"Yes way" Adam
"Do NOT eat the fruit" said God
"Why?" {the famous 'why'}
"Because I am your father and i said so" God replied wondering why He hadnt stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didnt I tell you not to eat the fruit?!!" He roared
"Uh huh" Adam replied
"Then why did you?" said the Father
"I dont know" said Eve
"She started it" said Adam
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they havent taken it, dont be hard on yourself! If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?! Thus:
- You spend the first two years of their lives teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen years telling them to sit down and shut up!
- Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
- Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
- Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they repeat...word for word...what you shouldnt have said.
- The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than yours.
- Finally, if you get a lot of tension, do what the Aspirin bottle says: Take 2 Aspirin and keep away from children!!!
I had a good laugh after reading this and i felt relieved....I AM NOT ALONE!
Happy 4th of March, Dolls!!
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Today IS a special day....MY BIRTHDAY! And its even much more special because i always share it with three fab friends of mine:
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| Niki I've got nothing but love for this young lady! I met her like eight years ago back in the university. One of those really cool/reserved chics in Engineering, {a.k.a Engine Girls} you'ld want to be friends with, i was really happywhen i found out she was a cousin to a dear friend! And so, we became "hi-hi-waka-pass" friends until the 4th of March of that year...the day we realized we had one more thing in common, that is, aside of friend OD! Niki has come a long way from the girl i knew back in the university. These days, she's a wife, a career woman, a homemaker. I'm happy to share this day with you, Niki. Happy Birthday, darling!!  Our baby in school, Chichi is just too much fun to hang with! She is witty as hell and with the craziest sense of humor, even at her own expense sef {especially at her own expense}...which is why we love her soo much. Happy 4th, boo!  Bena a.k.a @sphinx640 My sister from another mother, my best friend, my *now borrowing her tweet* one-week-apart-wedding anniversary mate, three-month-apart-children mate, this chic is just the christina to my meredith...she is my PERSON. She gets me. Before i even think it, she has bbm'd my thought to me...its uncanny! She always always have my back... Love you, loads and Happy Birthday! Just in case, you skipped the first few lines, TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY. Now signing out to go party!! Taa-taa....x |
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